{"id":94531,"date":"2018-05-30T09:15:57","date_gmt":"2018-05-30T14:15:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=94531"},"modified":"2026-03-10T12:54:06","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T17:54:06","slug":"the-7-habits-put-first-things-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/the-7-habits-put-first-things-first\/","title":{"rendered":"The 7 Habits: Put First Things First"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-94558 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2.jpg\" alt=\"Pointing finger to dominoes illustration.\" width=\"900\" height=\"503\" srcset=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2.jpg 900w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2-768x429.jpg 768w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2-320x179.jpg 320w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2-640x358.jpg 640w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-Header-2-400x224.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><em>Welcome back to our monthly series that summarizes, expands, and riffs on each of the seven habits laid out in <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0743269519\/ref=as_at\/?imprToken=XGJnp3Q3prTQrk70df2U5A&amp;slotNum=0&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0743269519&amp;linkCode=w61&amp;tag=stucosuccess-20\">The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People<\/a><em> by Stephen Covey.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Covey\u2019s first two habits are big picture and abstract.<\/p>\n<p>Habit #1 &#8212; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/7-habits-proactive-not-reactive\/\">&#8220;Be Proactive&#8221;<\/a> &#8212; is about changing your mindset from someone who is acted upon to someone who acts. It&#8217;s about reminding yourself that you are in charge of your life and how you respond to it.<\/p>\n<p>Habit #2 builds off of the first. It instructs you to marshal the power of personal agency and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/the-7-habits-begin-with-the-end-in-mind\/\">&#8220;Begin With the End in Mind\u201d<\/a> \u2014 the \u201cend\u201d here being nothing less final than the grave. When you look back on your life from your deathbed, what do you want to see and how do you want to feel? Once you know that, you create a personal mission statement based on timeless principles and your own core values that helps you develop and practice these \u201ceulogy virtues.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Habit #3 is where the rubber meets the road.<\/p>\n<p>As Covey argues, Habits 1 and 2 are about personal <em>leadership<\/em> &#8212; figuring out where you want to go and what you want to do in life &#8212; while Habit #3 is about personal <em>management<\/em>. It&#8217;s about taking the big picture, the abstract, the idealistic, and turning them into the day-to-day, the concrete, the practical. It\u2019s about taking external actions that match your internal convictions.<\/p>\n<p>As Covey puts it, &#8220;While leadership decides what &#8216;first things&#8217; are, it is management that puts them first.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Big Rocks vs. Small Rocks<\/h3>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/0VNmIxkyHd8?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>In Covey&#8217;s book <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B00V1XGKJK\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B00V1XGKJK&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=stucosuccess&amp;linkId=FSXA3GZUT5SFDAZ4\">First Things First<\/a><\/em>, he fleshes out this habit even more and introduces the analogy of big rocks vs. small rocks&nbsp;(I did a video on this several years ago that may be helpful to watch).&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Imagine that you have a pile of sand and small rocks, a pile of big rocks, and a jar into which you must put both piles. Let\u2019s say you filled the jar first with the sand\/small rocks; you might find that they took up so much space that you ultimately didn\u2019t have room for the big rocks. But, let\u2019s say you instead first filled the jar with big rocks, and then put in the sand and small rocks; the sediment will settle in the cracks of the big rocks, allowing you to fit everything in from both piles.<\/p>\n<p>Your life is like the jar. The small rocks are the urgent, but less important things in your life &#8212; the endless to-dos and fires to put out. The big rocks are the most important things in your life: activities that don&#8217;t have hard deadlines but help you achieve your principle personal, school, and work goals, as well as your overall mission as a man. Big rocks concern spirituality, health, relationships, and professional purpose \u2014 the things that ultimately develop the eulogy virtues.<\/p>\n<p>When you tackle life\u2019s \u201cbig rocks\u201d first, you end up having time for everyday life maintenance tasks, as well as for relaxation and fun. But when you put the small rocks \u2014 the merely urgent or meaningless \u2014 first, the more important things in life get crowded out. Your life can simultaneously feel both super busy and frustratingly stagnant; your days feel crammed, but you don\u2019t seem to be making any progress on your goals, and in becoming the man you want to be.<\/p>\n<p>So we know <em>why<\/em> it\u2019s important to put first things first, but <em>how<\/em> do we do it? What are the best \u201cmanagement\u201d practices to help us properly order our priorities?<\/p>\n<h3>Frontloading Your Life, or, You Are Your Morning Routine<\/h3>\n<p>Habit #3 is the one I\u2019ve previously written about more than any other, and I could simply re-take you through the two practices Covey recommends for its implementation, and that I\u2019ve already covered in-depth: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/eisenhower-decision-matrix\/\">sorting your tasks into a 4-quadrant decision matrix<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/weekly-plan\/\">planning your week<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve found both of these practices really helpful in my own life, but, to be honest, my weekly planning tends to be somewhat sporadic, and I don\u2019t typically think of the decision matrix on a day-to-day basis.<\/p>\n<p>So, while the practices are certainly useful, I don\u2019t think the great majority of people will even try them, much less stick with them. They\u2019re a little involved, and basic human nature being what it is, they\u2019re hard to permanently incorporate into your life.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, I instead want to strip things back to the very basics, and suggest an approach to living this habit that\u2019s both crazy accessible and crazy effective.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to do that by treating the maxim of \u201cfirst things first\u201d quite literally.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to make sure you accomplish the most important things in your life, then you need to literally make them the first things you do each day.<\/p>\n<p>You need to make your big rocks part of your morning routine.<\/p>\n<p>How do you decide what tasks you need to schedule for first thing in the morning? It comes down to an intersection of your personal purpose and a line of dominos. Here\u2019s what I mean, using my own life as an example.<\/p>\n<p>First, think about your purpose. Mine looks something like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Strengthen my relationship with God<\/li>\n<li>Be the best possible husband to Kate<\/li>\n<li>Be the best possible father to Gus and Scout<\/li>\n<li>Create content on AoM that improves men\u2019s lives<\/li>\n<li>Increase my physical strength<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Okay, so I know my priorities, my big rocks. So then the question becomes, of these planks of my purpose, how should their practice be ordered, at least in terms of my daily schedule? And that\u2019s where the dominos come in.<\/p>\n<p>In looking at the practices attendant to your purposes, you want to ask yourself: \u201cWhich of these, if I complete them first, will facilitate the completion of the others?\u201d If your day-to-day tasks are like a line of dominos, then you want to carefully choose your very top priority \u2014 the domino that will sit at the front of the line &#8212; as one which will successfully kickstart the energy that\u2019ll send one domino into another (this is an idea inspired by Gary Keller\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2IRU37H\"><em>The One Thing<\/em><\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>So in my own life I know I\u2019m not going to be able to do anything else very well \u2014 work or relationship wise \u2014 unless I get my mind right. Creating a mindset of calm, centered focus is thus my first, first thing. It\u2019s foundational for everything else. It\u2019s my first domino.<\/p>\n<p>What that means practically is that the very first thing I do when I get out of bed each day is to engage in a set of mental and spiritual exercises: I pray, read my scriptures, meditate, and do an exercise from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thefoundationsofwellbeing.com\/\">Foundations of Well-Being<\/a>, which I\u2019ve found helps mitigate <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/leashing-the-black-dog-my-struggle-with-depression\/\">my tendency towards depression<\/a> and irritable moodiness.<\/p>\n<p>When I say I do this first thing in the morning, I mean that quite literally; I used to first check my phone when I woke up, but I found this set my mind up for a day of triviality and distraction. Sometimes I got lost on my phone, which ate up the time for my mental\/spiritual exercises; or I saw something that affected my mood, so that even though I still did the exercises, they were less focused and effective. It just made me generally twitchier that day. Now, I don\u2019t touch my phone until my mental\/spiritual exercises are done. I have to say, this small, simple change has been absolutely game-changing. <em>First things first<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>My spiritual\/mental exercises set my mind right for everything else I\u2019ll do that day, including the next step in my morning routine: my workout.<\/p>\n<p>My daily workout is not only enhanced by the mindset exercises I do beforehand, but further enhances their effect \u2014 strengthening the positive, confident attitude with which I approach the day. There\u2019s nothing like hefting pieces of iron to leave you feeling sharp and grounded. It ensures that the momentum of the falling dominos continues on.<\/p>\n<p>Once my morning routine is over, and I\u2019m feeling both centered and energized, it\u2019s time for work. Within my workday, I utilize the same principle of first things first: I tackle my most important tasks at the start of the day, knowing that if I do so, I\u2019ll not only have ensured that the most value-creating things get done, but that I\u2019ll be able to fit the \u201curgent,\u201d smaller rocks in later.<\/p>\n<p>My morning routine sets me up for workday success, and the continued employment of the \u201cfirst things first\u201d principle ensures that the workday is productive.<\/p>\n<p>Of course I haven\u2019t directly tackled any relational things yet \u2014 anything related to my purpose as a husband and father. But the fact that my mood is positive, and that my workday has been productive primes me to bring my best self to these roles. The fact that a healthy mindset will improve my relationships is obvious, but having accomplished what I needed to with work goes a long way too. When you spend the day dicking around, once more letting the hours slip away from you, you feel terrible \u2014 restless and irritable. You not only infect your family with these negative vibes, you may also only give them part of your attention, as you try to catch up on work on your phone. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/a-simple-cure-for-restlessness-work-when-you-work-play-when-you-play\/\">But when you spent your work time well, you can disengage from work mode without guilt, and immerse yourself in fully present play.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>How you start your day will be how you end it, and as days become weeks, which become years, how you end each day will ultimately be how you end your life. You are your morning routine.<\/p>\n<p>So frontload what\u2019s most important to you in the a.m. Put first things first.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Be sure to listen to my podcast with Stephen&#8217;s son about his father&#8217;s famous principles:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.simplecast.com\/fa83227f-31b9-4116-bb68-c3b0e1a2f878?dark=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"200px\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\" seamless=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>Read the Whole Series<\/strong><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/7-habits-proactive-not-reactive\/\">Be Proactive, Not Reactive<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/the-7-habits-begin-with-the-end-in-mind\/\">Begin With the End in Mind<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Put First Things First<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/the-7-habits-think-win-win\/\">Think Win\/Win<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood\/\">Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/articles\/the-7-habits-synergize-beyond-the-eye-rolling-buzzword\/\">Synergy (Beyond the Eye-Rolling Buzzword)<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Sharpen the Saw<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome back to our monthly series that summarizes, expands, and riffs on each of the seven habits laid out in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Covey\u2019s first two habits are big picture and abstract. Habit #1 &#8212; &#8220;Be Proactive&#8221; &#8212; is about changing your mindset from someone who is acted [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":101583,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,218,6,42269],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-94531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-culture","category-featured","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"medium_large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-BLANK-768x429.jpg","large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-BLANK-538x280.jpg","aom":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-BLANK-372x230.jpg","reactor-320":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-BLANK-320x179.jpg","reactor-640":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/05\/First-Things-First-BLANK-640x357.jpg"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94531"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94531\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/101583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94531"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=94531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}