{"id":8421,"date":"2010-01-13T22:03:47","date_gmt":"2010-01-14T04:03:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/artofmanliness.com\/?p=8421"},"modified":"2026-04-21T13:30:41","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T18:30:41","slug":"a-pocket-history-of-milton-j-wurtleburtle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/culture\/gear\/a-pocket-history-of-milton-j-wurtleburtle\/","title":{"rendered":"A Pocket History of Milton J. Wurtleburtle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8423 size-full\" title=\"man's pockets\" src=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets.jpg\" alt=\"Man's pockets by milton wurtleburtle illustration.\" width=\"383\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets.jpg 383w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets-320x418.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 383px) 100vw, 383px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You can tell a lot about a man from what he keeps in his pockets. And you can tell a man&#8217;s whole life history from how those contents change over time. At least that was the premise of a piece that appeared in a 1933 issue of <em>Esquire Magazine<\/em>. Enjoy.<\/p>\n<h3>A Pocket History of Milton J. Wurtleburtle<\/h3>\n<p>By: Robert D. Abrahams<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at Ten<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 watch, lacking a main spring.<br \/>\n1 report card, badly frayed and unpresented at home.<br \/>\n1 much damaged cigarette, unsmoked.<br \/>\n1 penknife.<br \/>\n1 rubber band, for use in sling-shot.<br \/>\nRemains of an exploded toy balloon.<br \/>\n2 marbles.<br \/>\n4 caps of milk bottles, won in competition<br \/>\n1 dirty handkerchief.<br \/>\n1 piece of chewing gum.<br \/>\n2 keys which do not fit locks.<br \/>\n7 pieces of string.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at Twenty<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 cheap watch<br \/>\n1 one dollar bill and twenty-one cents in change.<br \/>\n1 letter on lavender stationery from a girl in Worcester, Massachusetts, signed with numerous \u201cX\u2019s.\u201d<br \/>\n1 letter on mauve stationery from a girl in Cleveland, Ohio, signed with numerous \u201cX\u2019s.\u201d<br \/>\n1 photograph of a beautiful girl who does not live in Worcester, Massachusetts or Cleveland, Ohio.<br \/>\n1 address book, containing nicknames and addresses only.<br \/>\n1 letter from the Dean of \u2026\u2026.College, regretting the necessity of again calling attention to his deficiencies.<br \/>\n1 bank book, showing balance of $4.20.<br \/>\n1 pipe, marked with college class numerals.<br \/>\n1 tobacco pouch.<br \/>\n1 key to his own door.<br \/>\n1 fancy handkerchief for coat pocket.<br \/>\n1 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/style\/hair\/what-happened-to-the-pocket-comb\/\">pocket comb<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at Thirty<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 gold watch with jeweled movements<br \/>\n1 roll of bills containing $84.00.<br \/>\n1 practical handkerchief and one fancy handkerchief in coat pocket.<br \/>\nThe same picture of Mrs. Milton J. Wurtleburtle and both the children.<br \/>\nMembership card in Elks, Moose and nine other fraternal orders and clubs.<br \/>\n1 accountant\u2019s statement of business of Milton J. Wurtleburtle &amp; Co., showing net worth of business now high<br \/>\n1 letter from Jake Hesser from Colorado, saying Wurtleburtle can expect to hear great news from that mining proposition soon; all that is needed is capital.<br \/>\n1 circular, advertising hair restorer.<br \/>\n1 memorandum from wife to stop and buy new goldfish, the old ones having died.<br \/>\n1 bill from summer camp for children\u2019s stay.<br \/>\n2 ten-cent cigars.<br \/>\nSeveral keys on ring, opening-<br \/>\n(a) his home door<br \/>\n(b) his office door<br \/>\n(d) his automobile tire lock and<br \/>\n(d) his safe deposit box<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at Fifty<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 watch, inscribed \u201cTo the Chief from Affectionate Employees of Milton J. Wurtleburtle &amp; Company, on the Occasion of His 50th Birthday.\u201d<br \/>\n1 roll of bills, held together with rubber band.<br \/>\n2 silk handkerchiefs and one for display.<br \/>\n1 picture of son in cap and gown.<br \/>\n1 picture of daughter in riding habit.<br \/>\n1 letter from son, asking for a little more money this month.<br \/>\n1 letter from daughter, saying she will be home after attending only four more out-of-town horse shows.<br \/>\n1 statement of accountant showing Milton J. Wurtleburtle &amp; Co. has very large net worth this year.<br \/>\n1 spectacle case containing a pair of reading glasses.<br \/>\nLife membership cards of twenty-two different fraternal orders and clubs.<br \/>\nLetters from receivers of Colorado-Hesser Mines, Inc., stating it is doubtful whether stockholders will receive anything from wind-up of concern.<br \/>\n2 quarter cigars.<br \/>\nNumerous keys on ring, including-<br \/>\n(a) key to home door<br \/>\n(b) key to office door<br \/>\n(c) key to safe deposit box<br \/>\n(d) key to country club locker<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at 60<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 watch, inscribed as before, containing, in case, picture of three grandchildren.<br \/>\n1 roll of bills as before.<br \/>\n1 practical handkerchief.<br \/>\n7 additional pictures of three grandchildren.<br \/>\n1 letter confirming reservations for \u201cAround the World Cruise\u201d for Mr. and Mrs. Milton J. Wurtleburtle.<br \/>\n1 copy of tentative president\u2019s report for submission to stockholders of Milton J. Wurtleburtle &amp; Co., Inc., showing large dividends earned during the year.<br \/>\n1 bottle of liver pills.<br \/>\n1 spectacle case containing bifocal glasses.<br \/>\n1 recipe for cocktail, written by a friend.<br \/>\nSeveral keys on a ring, opening:<br \/>\n(a) his home door.<br \/>\n(b) his office door.<br \/>\n(c) his safe deposit box.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at Seventy<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 watch, inscribed as before, containing, in case, picture of Mrs. Milton J. Wurtleburtle.<br \/>\nRoll of bills as before.<br \/>\n1 dirty handkerchief.<br \/>\n1 spectacle case with glasses and one spectacle case with magnifying glasses.<br \/>\nLetters from three grandchildren from three different colleges, thanking him for Christmas presents.<br \/>\nLetter from Edenwood Cemetery, acknowledging receipt of check for perpetual care of Mrs. Milton J. Wurtleburtle\u2019s lot.<br \/>\nLetter of praise from Board of Directors of Milton J. Wurtleburtle &amp; Co., Inc., on occasion of his retirement from active business.<br \/>\nNotice to report for jury service.<br \/>\n1 newspaper clipping, concerning grandsons playing as substitute end for Princeton.<br \/>\nTwo keys on ring, opening-<br \/>\n(a) his home door.<br \/>\n(b) his safe deposit box.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Contents of His Pockets at 80<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1 handkerchief in coat pocket carefully folded and placed there by the undertaker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You can tell a lot about a man from what he keeps in his pockets. And you can tell a man&#8217;s whole life history from how those contents change over time. At least that was the premise of a piece that appeared in a 1933 issue of Esquire Magazine. Enjoy. A Pocket History of Milton [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8423,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[218,42278],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-8421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","category-gear"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets-383x280.jpg","aom":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets-372x230.jpg","reactor-320":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2010\/01\/mans-pockets-320x418.jpg"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8421"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8421\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":192859,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8421\/revisions\/192859"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8421"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=8421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}