{"id":83137,"date":"2018-04-16T09:28:59","date_gmt":"2018-04-16T14:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=83137"},"modified":"2025-12-22T11:08:30","modified_gmt":"2025-12-22T17:08:30","slug":"the-10-aom-articles-that-have-most-impacted-my-life-over-the-last-10-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/featured\/the-10-aom-articles-that-have-most-impacted-my-life-over-the-last-10-years\/","title":{"rendered":"The 10 AoM Posts That Have Most Impacted My Life Over the Last 10 Years"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Poster<\/p>\n

The Art of Manliness celebrates its 10th<\/sup> anniversary this year, and over the last decade we\u2019ve published over 3,000 pieces of content \u2014 articles, videos, and podcasts.<\/p>\n

When I started AoM back in 2008, I certainly didn\u2019t consider myself an expert in manliness, and I still don\u2019t; rather, I saw myself as a student who would be learning right alongside with readers. When it came to questions I had about how to do life better, I saw my job as digging up the best research and then synthesizing it and presenting it in a clear and accessible way. I hope that process has helped change our followers\u2019 lives; I know for certain it\u2019s changed mine.<\/p>\n

With some posts, Kate and I simply sought to figure out how to articulate an idea we already had or a habit we already practiced. With others, though, researching and creating the piece actually shifted our perspective and\/or led to us instituting a new habit in our lives.<\/p>\n

Below you\u2019ll find a list of 10 pieces of content that fall into that latter category — those that have most directly impacted my life over the last 10 years. We\u2019ve written some super meaty and philosophical stuff over that time, such as these series on honor<\/a> and the origins and imperatives of manhood, which were really interesting intellectually, but honestly didn\u2019t impact my thinking or day-to-day life very much; they kind of fleshed out things I think most people understand intuitively but have trouble articulating. As you\u2019ll see, the content listed below centers on ideas around behavioral or psychological shifts that can influence and improve one\u2019s life in tangible ways. These are the posts that I still think about most, often on a daily basis, or that kickstarted some new behavior that\u2019s still part of my life and our family\u2019s regular routines.<\/p>\n

Men & Status (Series)<\/a><\/h3>\n

\"Doctor<\/p>\n

I honestly think this is our most underrated and useful series. I know, most people think they don\u2019t, or shouldn\u2019t, care about status \u2014 that it\u2019s something only insecure or inferior people think about. But most people really don\u2019t understand the nature of our innate status drive. They don\u2019t understand how biologically and psychologically ingrained it is, how it affects them and influences their behavior even when they think it doesn\u2019t, and how much their sense of status impacts their well-being. They don\u2019t understand that it isn\u2019t actually healthy not to care about the status drive whatsoever, and that it\u2019s best to recognize you can\u2019t wholly escape it and should rather seek to manage it in such a way as to get more of its pros and less of its cons.<\/p>\n

The \u201cred pill\u201d metaphor has become so clich\u00e9 and freighted with baggage that I hesitate to use it, but it really applies to reading this series. Once you understand status, you\u2019ll become conscious of all the ways it impacts your day-to-day life \u2014 from how long it takes people to text you back to why you feel so irrationally terrible when someone snubs you. It\u2019s amazingly revealing!<\/p>\n

The series comes to my mind all the time, helping me to understand how and why certain interactions play out the way they do. On the downside, understanding the role status plays in relationships takes some of the fun and mystery out of them \u2014 makes them seem more biological and transactional than lofty and altruistic. But it also helps you understand why your life may not be going the way you want and what you can do to improve your status and well-being. And it\u2019s not all selfish; understanding status can actually help you be more<\/em> empathetic with folks \u2014 more cognizant of the need to push past visceral reactions to get to know the person underneath externalities. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Starting Strength Weightlifting Videos<\/h3>\n

\"Muscular<\/p>\n

When I first started AoM and would put out fitness content, I would invariably get comments that said things like, \u201cIf you REALLY want to give good fitness advice you need to look up Mark Rippetoe and read Starting Strength<\/em><\/a>.\u201d At the time, I honestly thought these comments were pretty annoying. They had that zealous, cult-like feel to them that made me want to roll my eyes.<\/p>\n

Then I drank the Kool Aid myself.<\/p>\n

First I had Rippetoe on the podcast in 2014.<\/a> I started dabbling with Starting Strength, but wasn\u2019t yet fully sold on it and kept doing the CrossFit-type workouts I had been doing for a few years. At the beginning of 2015, I drove down to Wichita Falls to film videos with Rip on how to perform the basic barbell lifts. That\u2019s when I really bought in on barbell training. Shortly after that, I connected with Starting Strength coach Matt Reynolds for online coaching<\/a> and I\u2019ve never looked back.<\/p>\n

Since making those videos, I\u2019ve gotten stronger than I ever thought I would. I\u2019m deadlifting 574 lbs, squatting 451 lbs, bench pressing<\/a> 310 lbs, and shoulder pressing 210 lbs. Most importantly, strength training has become a central part of my daily life \u2014 the thing, other than my faith and family, that brings me the most enjoyment and satisfaction.<\/p>\n

The Power of a Weekly Marriage Meeting<\/a><\/h3>\n

\"Couple<\/p>\n

I saw a book about the idea of marriage meetings<\/a>, was intrigued enough to read it, and figured Kate and I ought to try the concept out before writing something on the subject. A couple years after the resulting article was published, the practice remains a regular part of our lives.<\/p>\n

The idea of marriage meetings is simple: once a week you sit down for 20-30 minutes with your spouse to get on the same page in all areas of your life. The meeting is broken into four parts: Appreciation (expressing gratitude to your spouse), Chores (making sure to-dos are getting done), Plan for Good Times (scheduling date nights, as well as individual and family activities), and Problems\/Challenges (addressing conflicts\/issues\/changes in the relationship and in life in general). The structure of the marriage meeting is designed to rekindle your romance, solidify your friendship, nip potential conflicts in the bud, and help you smoothly run your household economy.<\/p>\n

Kate and I honestly never make our marriage meetings happen once a week; it\u2019s more like once a month for us. But the tool has still proven really helpful in strengthening our connection and enhancing our family life. Highly recommend all couples implementing this simple and effective habit. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Podcast With Rick Hanson on Hardwiring Happiness<\/a><\/h3>\n