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Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Eric McCarty. <\/em><\/p>\n My neighbor, JT, is seven feet tall. Or close to it.<\/p>\n His dog, Mia, is 10 inches high at the spikiest hair on her pointiest ear. Or close to it.<\/p>\n JT and I have been neighbors for almost two decades. Telephone-pole JT and Mia the Mini stroll the streets every day on his lunch break. Quite a pair. Mia takes 47 steps for every Ent-like JT stride.<\/p>\n A couple of years ago, I asked JT if I could borrow his ax and maul to split some wood. (See #4 below.) He said yes, but only as long as he could come help. He didn\u2019t seem worried about me or his tools, rather, he seemed eager<\/em>, like I\u2019d asked to borrow his football and was going to have all the fun by myself.<\/p>\n As we stretched, he casually mentioned that he used to split wood for a living.<\/p>\n What? I stared at him, trying to figure this out.<\/p>\n We live in the city. JT has a cantaloupe-sized yip-yip dog with the same name as my daughter. He runs a dental instruments startup. He\u2019s as skinny as a toothbrush. And he used to split wood for a living? I didn\u2019t even know you could<\/em> split wood for a living. Who is this guy I\u2019ve been living next to all these years?<\/p>\n He took one swing and I was a believer.<\/p>\n We took turns. He gave me pointers. I employed previously-unknown-to-me muscles. He knocked the rust off his tools and his back. I consumed preventative ibuprofen. He lamented old joints. I ribbed him about his single mis-hit.<\/p>\n And, bonus, nobody went to the ER.<\/p>\n I wish I would have known years sooner that asking a favor of a neighbor would be the start of a good friendship.<\/p>\n Oftentimes when we’re in need of some help, or a certain tool, we’ll call up a friend or family member who lives across town, or go to the store to buy something we might only need to use once. Instead of making these big, less effective efforts to fulfill a need, why not turn for help to the folks who live right next door?<\/p>\n One key aspect of manliness mentioned a few times here on AoM is developing your community and neighborhood. Marcus Brotherton mentions one of the elements involved in making this effort<\/a>: \u201cBeing a good neighbor begins with a positive, proactive mindset.\u201d<\/p>\n There\u2019s a mentality in our culture that being a good neighbor means you don\u2019t bother anyone who lives close to you. That\u2019s passive<\/em> neighboring, not good<\/em> neighboring.<\/p>\n Being a good neighbor means you think ahead, initiate, and deepen relationships with those around you. It means you\u2019re often the first one to knock on the front door. It means you\u2019re proactive.<\/p>\n You might think that asking for favors would make you seem more annoying than neighborly, but consider what’s called the Benjamin Franklin Effect. When Franklin was a state legislator in Pennsylvania, there was a rival legislator that had badmouthed Franklin in a speech. Franklin understood that if he was to get anything done during his term, he\u2019d have to work with this guy. To get in this grumpy gentleman\u2019s good graces, Franklin did something counterintuitive \u2014 he asked his rival for a favor.<\/p>\n Franklin recounts what happened in his autobiography:<\/p>\n \u201cHaving heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and curious book, I wrote a note to him, expressing my desire of perusing that book, and requesting he would do me the favor of lending it to me for a few days. He sent it immediately, and I returned it in about a week with another note, expressing strongly my sense of the favor. When we next met in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n From this experience, Franklin coined the maxim: \u201cHe that has once done you a Kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.\u201d<\/p>\n Now, your neighbors hopefully aren\u2019t your rivals, but even if they are, asking for a favor (as long as it’s fairly easy to fulfill) will actually kindle some warmth and foster a sense of community. There\u2019s this odd sense of \u201cOh, I helped this guy, I think I actually like him.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s in that spirit that I offer the following:<\/p>\n These favors are best asked for face-to-face. Favors are far more readily agreed to when there’s a human standing right in front of you; it’s too easy to offer a quick “No, we can’t” or even a non-answer when the communication is done digitally. That said, in some cases, digital communication is the only route available, and can be useful for casting a wider net. <\/p>\n It should be noted that even if you’ve not interacted with your neighbors much before, you can still ask for most of these things. They’re largely low-level, low-investment asks, and won’t be denied except by the grumpiest of people. If anything, they’ll probably just be pleasantly surprised at the new interaction, and hopefully, it’s the start of a good neighborly relationship. <\/p>\nGood Neighbors Are Active Neighbors<\/h3>\n
8 Favors to Ask Your Neighbors<\/span><\/h3>\n
1. “Can you keep an eye on things while we’re out of town?” <\/h3>\n