![\"Poster](\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Epigrams-Header.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we\u2019ve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in January 2018.<\/em><\/p>\n Editor’s note: This is a guest article from Ryan Holiday<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n As long as man has been alive, he has been collecting little sayings about how to live. We find them carved in the rock of the Temple of Apollo and etched as graffiti on the walls of Pompeii. They appear in the plays of Shakespeare, the commonplace book<\/a> of H. P. Lovecraft, the collected proverbs of Erasmus, and the ceiling beams of Montaigne\u2019s study. Today, they\u2019re recorded on iPhones and in Evernote.<\/p>\n But whatever generation is doing it, whether they\u2019re written by scribes in China or commoners in some European dungeon or simply passed along by a kindly grandfather, these little epigrams of life advice have taught essential lessons. How to respond to adversity. How to think about money. How to meditate on our mortality. How to have courage.<\/p>\n And they pack all this in in so few words. “What is an epigram?\u201d Coleridge asked, \u201cA dwarfish whole; Its body brevity, and wit its soul.” Epigrams are what Churchill was doing when he said: \u201cTo improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.\u201d Or Balzac: \u201cAll happiness depends on courage and work.\u201d Ah yes, epigrams are often funny too. That\u2019s how we remember them. Napoleon: \u201cNever interrupt an enemy making a mistake.\u201d Fran\u00e7ois de La Rochefoucauld: \u201cWe hardly find any persons of good sense save those who agree with us.\u201d Voltaire: \u201cA long dispute means that both parties are wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n Below are some wonderful epigrams that span some 21 centuries and 3 continents. Each one is worth remembering, having queued in your brain for one of life\u2019s crossroads or to drop at the perfect moment in conversation. Each will change and evolve with you as you evolve (Heraclitus: \u201cNo man steps in the same river twice\u201d) and yet each will remain strong and unyielding no matter how much you may one day try to wiggle out and away from them.<\/p>\n Fundamentally, each one will teach you how to be a better man. If you let them.<\/p>\n At the beginning of his life, few would have predicted that Theodore Roosevelt<\/a> even had a choice in the matter. He was sickly and fragile, doted on by worried parents. Then, a conversation with his father sent him driven, almost maniacally in the other direction. \u201cI will make my body,\u201d<\/em><\/a> he said, when told that he would not go far in this world with a brilliant mind in a frail body. What followed was a montage of boxing, hiking, horseback riding, hunting, fishing, swimming, boldly charging enemy fire, and then a grueling work pace as one of the most prolific and admired presidents in American history. Again, this epigram was prophetic for Roosevelt, because at only 54 years old, his body began to wear out. An assassination attempt<\/a> left a bullet lodged in his body and it hastened his rheumatoid arthritis. On his famous \u201cRiver of Doubt\u201d expedition he developed a tropical fever and the toxins from an infection in his leg left him nearly dead. Back in America he contracted a severe throat infection and was later diagnosed with inflammatory rheumatism, which temporarily confined him to a wheelchair (saying famously, \u201cAll right! I can work that way too!\u201d) and then he died at age 60. But there is not a person on the planet who would say that he had not made a fair trade, that he had not worn his life well and not lived a full one in those 60 years.<\/p>\n There is the story of the alcoholic father with two sons. One follows in his father\u2019s footsteps and ends up struggling through life as a drunk, and the other becomes a successful, sober businessman. Each are asked: \u201cWhy are you the way you are?\u201d The answer for both is the same: \u201cWell, it\u2019s because my father was an alcoholic.\u201d The same event, the same childhood, two different outcomes. This is true for almost all situations\u2014what happens to us is an objective reality, how we respond is a subjective choice. The Stoics\u2014of which Epictetus was one<\/a>\u2014would say that we don\u2019t control what happens to us, all we control are our thoughts and reactions to what happens to us. Remember that: You\u2019re defined in this life not by your good luck or your bad luck, but your reaction to those strokes of fortune. Don\u2019t let anyone tell you different. <\/strong><\/p>\n There is a proverb about revenge: Before setting out for a journey of revenge, dig two graves<\/em>. Because revenge is so costly, because the pursuit of it often wears on the one who covets it. Marcus\u2019s advice is easier and truer: How much better it feels to let it go, to leave the wrongdoer to their wrongdoing. And from what we know, Marcus Aurelius<\/a> lived this advice. When Avidius Cassius, one of his most trusted generals rebelled and declared himself emperor, Marcus did not seek vengeance. Instead, he saw this as an opportunity to teach the Roman people and the Roman Senate about how to deal with civil strife in a compassionate, forgiving way. Indeed, when assassins struck Cassius down, Marcus supposedly wept. This is very different than the idea of \u201cLiving well being the best revenge\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not about showing someone up or rubbing your success in their face. It\u2019s that the person who wronged you is not happy, is not enjoying their life. Do not become like them. Reward yourself by being the opposite of them. <\/strong><\/p>\n Laura Ingalls Wilder, author of the classic series Little House<\/em><\/a>, lived this, facing some of the toughest and unwelcoming elements on the planet: harsh and unyielding soil, Indian territory, Kansas prairies, and the humid backwoods of Florida. Not afraid, not jaded\u2014because she saw it all as an adventure. Everywhere was a chance to do something new, to persevere with cheery pioneer spirit whatever fate befell her and her husband. That isn\u2019t to say she saw the world through delusional rose-colored glasses. Instead, she simply chose to see each situation for what it could be\u2014accompanied by hard work and a little upbeat spirit. Others make the opposite choice. Remember: There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.<\/p>\n In the hiring process, most employers look at where someone went to school, what jobs they\u2019ve held in the past. This is because past success can be an indicator of future successes. But is it always? There are plenty of people who were successful because of luck. Maybe they got into Oxford or Harvard because of their parents. And what about a young person who hasn\u2019t had time to build a track record? Are they worthless? Of course not. This is why character<\/em> is a far better measure of a man or woman. Not just for jobs, but for friendships, relationships, for everything. When you seek to advance your own position in life, character is the best lever\u2014perhaps not in the short term, but certainly over the long term. And the same goes for the people you invite into your life.<\/p>\n A man shows up for work at a company where he knows that management is doing something wrong, something unethical. How does he respond? Can he cash his checks in good conscience because he isn\u2019t the one running up the stock price, falsifying reports or lying to his co-workers? No. One cannot, as Budd Schulberg says in one of his novels<\/a>, deal in filth without becoming the thing he touches. We should look up to a young man at Theranos as an example here. After discovering numerous problems at the health care startup, he was dismissed by his seniors and eventually contacted the authorities. Afterwards, not only was this young man repeatedly threatened, bullied, and attacked by Theranos, but his family had to consider selling their house to pay for the legal bills. His relationship with his grandfather\u2014who sits on the Theranos board\u2014is strained and perhaps irreparable. As Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, and us: \u201cJust that you do the right thing. The rest doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d It\u2019s an important reminder. Doing the right thing isn\u2019t free. Doing the right thing might even cost you everything.<\/p>\n Everyone is better than you at something. This is a fact of life. Someone is better than you at making eye contact. Someone is better than you at quantum physics. Someone is better informed than you on geopolitics. Someone is better than you are at speaking kindly to someone they dislike. There are better gift-givers, name-rememberers, weight-lifters, temper-controllers, confidence-carriers, and friendship-makers. There is no one person who is the best at all<\/em> these things, who doesn\u2019t have room to improve in one or more of them. So if you can find the humility to accept this about yourself, what you will realize is that the world is one giant classroom. Go about your day with an openness and a joy about this fact. Look at every interaction as an opportunity to learn from and of the people you meet. You will be amazed at how quickly you grow, how much better you get.<\/p>\n It is not your responsibility to fill up a stranger\u2019s gas tank, but when their car dies in front of you, blocking the road, it\u2019s still your problem isn\u2019t it? It is not your responsibility to negotiate peace treaties on behalf of your country, but when war breaks out and you\u2019re drafted to fight in it? Guess whose problem it is? Yours.<\/em> Life is like this. It has a way of dropping things into our lap\u2014the consequences of an employee\u2019s negligence, a spouse\u2019s momentary lapse of judgement, a freak weather event\u2014that were in no way our fault but by nature of being in our lap, our f*cking problem.<\/em> So what are you going to do? Complain?<\/em> Are you going to litigate this in a blogpost or an argument with God? Or are you just going to get to work solving it the best you can? Life is defined by how you answer that question. Cheryl Strayed<\/a> is right. This thing might not be your responsibility but it is your problem. So accept it, deal with it, kick its ass.<\/p>\n In Rome just as America, in the forum just as on Facebook, there was the temptation to replace action with argument. To philosophize instead of living philosophically<\/a>. Today, in a society obsessed with content, outrage<\/a>, and drama, it\u2019s even easier to get lost in the echo chamber of the debate of what\u2019s \u201cbetter.\u201d We can have endless discussions about what\u2019s right and wrong. What should we do in this hypothetical situation or that one? How can we encourage other people to be better? (We can even debate the meaning of the above line: \u201cWhat\u2019s a man? What\u2019s the definition of good? Why doesn\u2019t it mention women?\u201d) Of course, this is all a distraction. If you want to try to make the world a slightly better place, there\u2019s a lot you can do. But only one thing guarantees an impact. Step away from the argument. Dig yourself out of the rubble. Stop wasting time with how things should be, would be, could be. Be that thing<\/em>. (Here\u2019s a cool <\/a>poster<\/a> of this quote<\/a>).<\/p>\n In life, it\u2019s a fact that: You will be unappreciated. You will be sabotaged. You will experience surprising failures. Your expectations will not be met. You will lose. You will fail. How do you carry on then? How do you take pride in yourself and your work? John Wooden\u2019s advice to his players says it: Change the definition of success<\/a>. \u201cSuccess is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.\u201d \u201cAmbition,\u201d Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, \u201cmeans tying your well-being to what other people say or do . . . Sanity means tying it to your own actions.\u201d Do your work. Do it well. Then “let go and let God.” That\u2019s all there needs to be. Recognition and rewards\u2014those are just extra.<\/p>\n A lot has been said of so-called \u201cF*ck You Money.\u201d The idea being that if one can earn enough, become rich and powerful enough, that suddenly no one can touch them and they can do whatever they want. What a mirage this is! How often the target seems to mysteriously move right as we approach it. It calls to mind the observation of David \u201cDHH\u201d Heinemeier Hansson who said that \u201cbeyond a specific amount, f*ck-you money can be a state of mind. One that you can acquire well in advance of the corresponding bank account. One that\u2019s founded mostly on a personal confidence that even if most of the material trappings went away, you\u2019d still be happier for standing your ground.\u201d The truth is being your own man, being self-contained, having fewer needs, and better, resilient skills that allow you to thrive in any and all situations. That is real wealth and freedom. That\u2019s what Emerson was talking about in his famous essay on self-reliance<\/a> and it\u2019s what Epicurus meant too.<\/p>\n It was one of the great Stoics<\/a> who said that if you live with a lame man, soon enough you will walk with a limp. My father told me something similar as a kid: \u201cYou become like your friends.\u201d It is true not just with social influences but informational ones too: If you are addicted to the chatter of the news, you will soon find yourself worried, resentful, and perpetually outraged. If you consume nothing but escapist entertainment, you will find the real world around you harder and harder to deal with. If all you do is watch the markets and obsess over every fluctuation, your worldview will become defined by money and gains and losses. But if you drink from deep, philosophical wisdom? If you have regularly in your mind role models of restraint, sobriety, courage, and honor? Well, you will start to become these things too. Tell me who you spend time with, Goethe said<\/a>, and I will tell you who you are. Tell me what you pay attention to, Gasset was saying, and I can tell you the same thing. Remember that the next time you feel your finger itching to pull up your Facebook feed.<\/p>\n You can always get up after you fall, but remember, what has been said can never be unsaid. Especially cruel and hurtful things.<\/p>\n Lands can be reconquered, indeed in the course of a battle, a hill or a certain plain might trade hands several times. But missed opportunities? These can never be regained. Moments in time, in culture? They can never be re-made. One can never go back in time to prepare for what they should have prepared for, no one can ever get back critical seconds that were wasted out of fear or ego<\/a>. Napoleon was brilliant at trading space for time: Sure, you can make these moves, provided you are giving me the time I need to drill my troops, or move them to where I want them to be. Yet in life, most of us are terrible at this. We trade an hour of our life here or afternoon there like it can be bought back with the few dollars we were paid for it. And it is only much much later, as they are on their deathbeds or when they are looking back on what might have been, that many people realize the awful truth of this quote. Don\u2019t do that. Embrace it now.<\/p>\n The problem with comparing yourself to other people is you really never know anyone else\u2019s situation. The co-worker with a nice car? It could be a dangerous and unsafe salvage with 100,000 miles. The friend who always seems to be traveling to far off places? They could be up to their eyeballs in credit card debt and about to get fired by their boss. Your neighbors\u2019 marriage which makes you so insecure about your own? It could be a nightmare, a complete lie. People do a very good job pretending at things, and their well-maintained fronts are often covers for incredible risk and irresponsibility. You never know, Warren Buffett<\/a> was saying, until things get bad. If you\u2019re living the life you know to be right, if you are making good, solid decisions, don\u2019t be swayed by what others are doing\u2014whether that is taking the form of irrational exuberance or panicked pessimism. See the high flying lives of others as a cautionary tale\u2014like Icarus with his wings\u2014and not as an inspiration or a source of insecurity. Keep doing what you\u2019re doing and don\u2019t be caught swimming naked! Because the tide will go out. Prepare for it! (Premeditatio Malorum<\/a>)<\/p>\n Marcus Aurelius would say something similar: \u201cBe tolerant with others and strict with yourself.\u201d Why? For starters because the only person you control is yourself. It\u2019s a complete waste of time to go around projecting strict standards on other people\u2014ones they never agreed to follow in the first place\u2014and then being aghast or feel wronged when they fall short. The other reason is you have no idea what other people are going or have been through. That person who seemed to rudely decline the invitation you so kindly offered? What if they were working hard to recommit themselves to their family and as much as they\u2019d like to have coffee with you, are doing their best to spend more time with their loved ones? The point is: You have no idea. So give people the benefit of the doubt. Look for good in them, assume good in them, and let that good inspire your own actions.<\/p>\n Ah, the way that a good one liner can humble even the world\u2019s greatest conqueror. Remember: we are all equals in death. It makes quick work of all of us, big and small. I carry a coin in my pocket<\/a> to remember this: Memento <\/em><\/a>Mori<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/a> What Juvenal reminds us is the same thing that Shakespeare spoke about in Hamlet:<\/p>\n Imperious Caesar, dead and turned to clay, It doesn\u2019t matter how famous you are, how powerful you are, how much you think you have left to do on this planet, the same thing happens to all of us, and it can happen when we least expect it. And then we will be wormfood and that\u2019s the end of it.<\/p>\n While this is probably not a Churchill original (he most likely borrowed<\/a> from Cardinal Newman: \u201cIn a higher world it is otherwise, but here below to live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often\u201d), Churchill certainly abided this in his life. He\u2019d even quip about his constant change of political affiliation: \u201cI said a lot of stupid things when I worked with the Conservative Party, and I left it because I did not want to go on saying stupid things.\u201d As Cicero would say when attacked that he was changing his opinion: \u201cIf something strikes me as probable, I say it; and that is how, unlike everyone else, I remain a free agent.\u201d There is nothing more impressive\u2014intellectually or otherwise\u2014than to change long held beliefs, opinions, and habits. The more you\u2019ve changed, the better you probably are.<\/p>\n Not only here would Jesus call us on one of our worst tendencies but immediately also ask: \u201cAnd why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?\u201d This line is similar to what the Stoic philosopher Seneca<\/a>, who historical sources suggest was born the same year as Jesus<\/a>, would say: \u201cYou look at the pimples of others when you yourselves are covered with a mass of sores.\u201d Waste no time judging and worrying about other people. You have plenty of problems to deal with in your own life. Chances are your own flaws are probably worse\u2014and in any case, they are at least in your control.<\/em> So do something about them.<\/p>\n Tolstoy puts the above words in the mouth of Field Marshall Mikhail Kutuzov in War and Peace<\/em><\/a>. In real life, Kutuzov gave Napoleon a painful lesson in the truth of the epigram over a long winter in Russia in 1812. Tolstoy would also say, \u201cEverything comes in time to him who knows how to wait.\u201d When it comes to accomplishing anything significant, you are required to exhibit patience and fortitude, so much patience<\/em>, as much as you\u2019d think you\u2019d need boldness and courage<\/a>.<\/p>\n Will we wait for someone to save us, or will we listen to Marcus Aurelius\u2019s empowering call to \u201cget active in your own rescue\u2014if you care for yourself at all\u2014and do it while you can.\u201d<\/p>\n Because at some point, we must put articles like this one aside and take action. No one can blow our nose for us. Another blog post isn\u2019t the answer. The right choices and decisions are. Who knows how much time you have left, or what awaits us tomorrow? So get to it.<\/p>\n _______________________________<\/p>\n Ryan Holiday is a bestselling author whose books like <\/em>The Obstacle is the Way<\/a> and <\/em>The Daily Stoic<\/a> have sold more than one million copies worldwide. For a handpicked list of life-changing but mostly unknown books, <\/em>go here<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we\u2019ve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in January 2018. Editor’s note: This is a guest article from Ryan Holiday. As long as man has been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":101842,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,42269],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-81589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/01\/epigrams2-538x280.png","aom":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/01\/epigrams2-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/01\/epigrams2-320x139.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2018\/01\/epigrams2-640x278.png"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81589"}],"version-history":[{"count":39,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81589\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":135369,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81589\/revisions\/135369"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/101842"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81589"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=81589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} \u201cWe must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.\u201d \u2014Theodore Roosevelt<\/h3>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.\u201d \u2014Epictetus<\/h3>\n
\u201cThe best revenge is not to be like that.\u201d \u2014Marcus Aurelius<\/h3>\n
\u201cThere is good in everything, if only we look for it.\u201d \u2014Laura Ingalls Wilder<\/h3>\n
\u201cCharacter is fate.\u201d \u2014Heraclitus<\/h3>\n
\u201cIf you see fraud and do not say fraud, you are a fraud.\u201d \u2014Nicholas Nassim Taleb<\/h3>\n
\u201cEvery man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.\u201d \u2014Ralph Waldo Emerson<\/h3>\n
\u201cThis is not your responsibility but it is your problem.\u201d \u2014Cheryl Strayed<\/h3>\n
\u201cWaste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.\u201d \u2014Marcus Aurelius<\/h3>\n
“You are only entitled to the action, never to its fruits.” \u2014Bhagavad Gita<\/h3>\n
\u201cSelf-sufficiency is the greatest of all wealth.\u201d \u2014Epicurus<\/h3>\n
\u201cTell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.\u201d \u2014Jose Ortega y Gasset<\/h3>\n
\u201cBetter to trip with the feet than with the tongue.\u201d \u2014Zeno<\/h3>\n
\u201cSpace I can recover. Time, never.\u201d \u2014Napoleon Bonaparte<\/h3>\n
\u201cYou never know who’s swimming naked until the tide goes out.\u201d \u2014Warren Buffett<\/h3>\n
\u201cSearch others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.\u201d \u2014Benjamin Franklin<\/h3>\n
\u201cThe world was not big enough for Alexander the Great, but a coffin was.\u201d \u2014Juvenal<\/h3>\n
\nMight stop a hole to keep the wind away.
\nO\u2019 that that earth which kept the world in awe
\nShould patch a wall t\u2019 expel the winder\u2019s flaw!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\u201cTo improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.\u201d \u2014Winston Churchill<\/h3>\n
\u201cJudge not, lest you be judged.\u201d \u2014Jesus<\/h3>\n
\u201cTime and patience are the strongest warriors.\u201d \u2014Leo Tolstoy<\/h3>\n
\u201cNo one saves us but ourselves \/ No one can and no one may.\u201d \u2014Buddha<\/h3>\n