{"id":65377,"date":"2017-08-11T09:31:36","date_gmt":"2017-08-11T14:31:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=65377"},"modified":"2026-03-13T08:36:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T13:36:59","slug":"social-briefing-12-talk-politics-religion-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/social-briefing-12-talk-politics-religion-money\/","title":{"rendered":"Social Briefing #12: Should You Talk About Politics, Religion, and Money?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Social<\/p>\n

Social Briefings<\/a> are short bi-monthly dispatches that offer practical tips to improve your social skills. <\/em>Read more on their raison d\u2019etre<\/em><\/a>.<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably heard it said that you should never discuss religion, money, or politics with people.<\/p>\n

In terms of discussing these \u201ccharged\u201d topics with good friends you\u2019ve known awhile, this adage is overly cautious. While you should probably proceed with caution when it comes to talking about money (it can produce ripple effects and reactions that are more visceral than one anticipates), conversations on politics and religion are too interesting and enjoyable to give up. These are some of the most animating parts of life, after all.<\/p>\n

But when it comes to avoiding the topics of politics, religion, and money with new acquaintances \u2014 folks you\u2019ve just met \u2014 there\u2019s a reason this piece of advice is so timeworn. The introduction of these \u201ccontroversial\u201d subjects can lead to a conversation getting overly heated, create misunderstandings, cause people to take offense, and end a relationship before it\u2019s even begun.<\/p>\n

The difference between discussing charged topics with old and new friends rests on the fact that among the former, you\u2019ve already built a relationship of trust and respect that allows them to disagree with you civilly. They know the whole context of your life. They can say that even if they disagree with you on a certain issue, they love you anyway. They know that your opinions on certain topics represent just one part of who you are.<\/p>\n

With someone new, however, all they know about you is limited to what you\u2019ve said in the last half hour. The little slice of yourself you\u2019ve presented is all they have to go on, and they\u2019ll take it as indicative of your entire life and personality. They don\u2019t have the context to say, \u201cWe disagree on X, but we still have enough in common to build a great relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

So while it\u2019s tempting to let it all hang out with everyone, all of the time, it\u2019s best to move into dicier stuff gradually \u2014 to first build a supportive scaffolding of trust and respect.<\/p>\n

Yet, even though this is generally the wisest, and certainly the safest route, taking it needn\u2019t be a hard and fast rule.<\/p>\n

For all the above being said, charged topics not only have the greatest potential for division, but also carry the greatest possibility for bonding. And they can<\/em> in fact be talked about with someone new, as long as you do so with care, intelligence, and an open mind, following these guidelines:<\/p>\n