{"id":64110,"date":"2017-05-25T13:48:03","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T18:48:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=64110"},"modified":"2021-06-06T13:03:19","modified_gmt":"2021-06-06T18:03:19","slug":"social-briefing-8-better-conversations-asking-open-ended-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/relationships\/social-skills\/social-briefing-8-better-conversations-asking-open-ended-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Social Briefing #8: How to Ask Open vs. Closed Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Platoon<\/strong><\/p>\n

Social Briefings<\/a> are short bi-monthly dispatches that offer practical tips to improve your social skills. <\/em>Read more on their raison d\u2019etre<\/em><\/a>.<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n

Initiating small talk with someone<\/a> may be the hardest part of managing an interaction, but once you’ve taken those first few steps, your work isn’t yet done.<\/p>\n

After exchanging a few pleasantries, your job is to nurture those first buds, lest they be struck with the freeze of awkward silence and die on the vine — killing a potential relationship before it’s even begun.<\/p>\n

The best way to ensure your small talk grows into something more substantial is to ask the other person questions. And not just any questions: open-ended ones.<\/p>\n

The ability to ask good open-ended questions isn\u2019t just important for building small talk with new people, but also forging stronger connections with those you\u2019re already close with. Maintaining your curiosity about friends and family ensures you continue to have deep, interesting conversations that keep your relationships fresh, satisfying, and strong.<\/p>\n

So today we’ll talk about what makes open questions different from closed ones, and how to effectively deploy the former to build personal charisma and enhance your connections with others.<\/p>\n

Open vs. Closed Questions<\/h3>\n

Closed questions are those which can be answered in a few words or less. They fish for facts, and are akin to multiple choice questions on a test.<\/p>\n

Open questions, on the other hand, solicit the other person\u2019s thoughts, feelings, and\/or interests and can be answered in ways that are more diverse and expansive. They\u2019re more like essay questions, and the genius of them is that they\u2019re accordion-like in nature: rather than putting people on the spot, open-ended questions allow them to reveal more or less about themselves, depending on their comfort level.<\/p>\n

As Alan Garner lists in Conversationally Speaking<\/em><\/a>, open and closed questions tend to begin with different respective words:<\/p>\n

Close-Ended<\/strong><\/p>\n