{"id":53546,"date":"2016-01-12T13:42:06","date_gmt":"2016-01-12T19:42:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=53546"},"modified":"2021-09-26T09:39:15","modified_gmt":"2021-09-26T14:39:15","slug":"how-superheroes-movies-and-video-games-taught-me-to-conquer-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/how-superheroes-movies-and-video-games-taught-me-to-conquer-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"How Superheroes, Movies, and Video Games Taught Me to Conquer Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Man<\/a><\/p>\n

Editor’s note: This is a guest article from Steve Kamb<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe hero and the coward both feel the same thing: fear; it\u2019s what they do with that fear that separates them.\u201d –Legendary trainer Cus D\u2019Amato<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Your palms are sweating. Pupils are dilated. Heart is beating out of your chest. And that thing you told yourself you need to do? You can\u2019t get yourself to do it. Rather than signing up for that class, asking out that person, raising your hand to speak, or putting your name down for open mic, you slink back into the shadows. \u201cMaybe when I\u2019m more prepared,\u201d you tell yourself. “Next time.\u201d And then you go home quietly wondering, \u201cWhat if…\u201d<\/p>\n

Fear might be the most powerful obstacle any of us will ever face in our lives. Sure, bear attacks are scary as hell<\/a>, but Brett has already taught you how to handle those!<\/p>\n

So what about the internal struggle that we face every day? The battle we rage against our own brains and hearts; how do we overcome and finally take action<\/a>? I\u2019m talking about the fear of public ridicule or shame. The fear of disappointing others. The fear of failure. Fear is constant and unavoidable. In other words, completely normal.<\/p>\n

But that also means that you need a battle-tested, step-by-step plan to deal with it! I’ve found that a lot of the tactics for such a plan, surprisingly enough, can be picked up from movies and video games. So let\u2019s look at some advice from our most beloved pop culture heroes on how we can systematically deal with fear and accomplish the things we set out to do.<\/p>\n

Learn from Batman: Defang Your Fears<\/h3>\n

\"Batman<\/a><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no better example of facing one\u2019s fears and using them to improve your life than the story of Bruce Wayne and Batman.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember the scene (in Nolan\u2019s Batman) in which a young Bruce fell down a well? He encountered a swarm of bats that would haunt him for a good portion of his young life. Eventually, Bruce decides to take something that once haunted him and turn this force against his enemies. In doing so he turned his greatest fear — bats — to work for him, eventually becoming a symbol for the protection of Gotham. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re going to become the best version of yourself, you\u2019ll need to confront your fears, too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bruce had to learn that there was nothing inherently scary about bats — that he had the power to turn them from something to be afraid of into a symbol of justice. To do the same thing in your own life, we\u2019re going to examine one of your fears: I want you to pick something you are afraid of, big or small. Whatever it is, take five minutes and define that fear, clarifying what\u2019s the worst possible outcome if things go poorly. Next write down what you can do to fix things if that worst-case scenario actually materialized. Afraid of trying a new activity? Starting your own company? Let\u2019s say you\u2019re afraid of being rejected when asking someone out — what\u2019s the worst that can happen? Maybe you get a polite decline. Or even laughed at. Whatever — write it all down!
\n<\/span>
\nTake a look at your list and consider the upside if things go well, versus the downsides if things don\u2019t. I bet the upside is a positive, permanent improvement, while the negatives are temporary and not life-ending. If you\u2019re going to make a change, and fear of the unknown is keeping you prisoner, then you need to remove the power that fear has over you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Entrepreneur Jia Jiang<\/a> was afraid of rejection, so he set out on a quest of 100 days of rejection to get over it (often referred to as \u201crejection therapy\u201d). Each day he asked more and more ridiculous requests of strangers to get used to being rejected. The result? More often than not, the strangers said yes! And if they said no, he quickly learned that his life wasn\u2019t over and he could move on to the next challenge. From asking a cop to ride in his cruiser to knocking on a stranger\u2019s door and asking if he can play soccer in the backyard, Jia found himself in some hilariously uncomfortable situations.<\/p>\n

No matter the leap you take, nearly anything can be fixed, most issues are only temporary, and any problem can be solved. Short of death or a catastrophic injury, NOTHING is permanent, and more often than not, the worst case is often something temporary, while the best case can be life-changing.<\/p>\n

You can get a new job, you can live with friends, you can borrow from others, you can hustle<\/a> people at chess in the park. You always have a choice, and there is always a way out. Always.<\/p>\n

Take Baby Steps like Bob<\/h3>\n

Remember the movie What About Bob<\/em>?<\/a> In it, Bill Murray\u2019s character is so paralyzed by anxiety that he has to remind himself to take baby steps to ever get anything done:<\/p>\n