{"id":46895,"date":"2015-04-14T13:51:28","date_gmt":"2015-04-14T18:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=46895"},"modified":"2021-05-30T22:05:40","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T03:05:40","slug":"how-to-deal-with-bad-coworkers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/money-wealth\/career\/how-to-deal-with-bad-coworkers\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal With Bad Coworkers"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Young<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all been there. The guy in the cubicle next to us makes lewd jokes seemingly on a daily timer. One of the gals in sales clearly doesn\u2019t do her part and leeches on the work of others. A fella on your team has taken credit for your great idea that\u2019s now being implemented. In any work situation, you\u2019ll almost always have at least one person you don\u2019t really get along with. Given how much time we spend at work, having a bad coworker can really hamper your mood over the long haul, as well as your job performance. How you deal with that conflict could very well be the difference between having a good job and having a bad job. In my own experience, the environment — including the people you work with — often makes a bigger difference in how you see your job than the work itself. For that reason, it\u2019s incredibly important to know how to deal with bad coworkers.<\/p>\n

Below are some tips to do so. Treat it like a flow-chart: start with the first couple options which are introspective and low-risk, then work your way to addressing the bad coworker one-on-one, to finally, as a last resort, approaching your supervisor.<\/p>\n

Accept and Acknowledge Personality Differences<\/h3>\n

When you spend 8+ hours per day, 40+ hours per week with someone — and in many cases a whole team of people — it\u2019s likely that they\u2019re eventually going to rub you the wrong way. Small tics will be magnified and personality differences lead to varying work styles, which can easily turn into conflict. Perhaps you work fast and efficiently, but sometimes miss details; you might clash with the fellow who works a little slower than you, but tends to get it all right on the first go. Conflict can even arise from something as simple as you desiring a quiet lunch period, while your coworkers like to socialize. These types of things are simply differences in how you work or socialize, and don\u2019t necessarily make your coworkers bad<\/em>.<\/p>\n

A helpful way to spot these differences is to take a personality test as an office. You can suggest to HR or your supervisor that everyone take an assessment so that you all can discover your differences in work habits, learning styles, etc. Simply understanding those unique traits of your coworkers will go a long way in quelling conflict, as you\u2019ll be better able to both empathize and ensure that small tics aren\u2019t blown up in your mind.<\/p>\n

If doing an office assessment isn\u2019t possible, do some research on your own regarding personality types and strengths\/weaknesses. StrengthsFinder<\/a> is a great resource that outlines the benefits and drawbacks of 34 different \u201ctalent themes.\u201d While generally taken as a personal resource, you can read through all of the strength categories and identify where you think people land, which will help in your dealing with them.<\/p>\n

Know the Pros and Cons of the Work Culture<\/h3>\n

In addition to understanding your co-workers varying personalities, it\u2019s also important to know the culture of the workplace. In a sales environment where folks are competing for commissions and bonuses, it\u2019s understandable that not everyone would be over-the-top friendly with each other. You should consider whether you might be misinterpreting behavior or overreacting to it.<\/p>\n

In high-stakes tech companies like Microsoft and Apple, the work culture is notoriously demanding and competitive, which can obviously lead to a lot of conflict. A prickly Steve Jobs isn\u2019t really going to care that your feelings got hurt in a meeting. In that situation, you may just realize the benefits of the job outweigh dealing with your manager\u2019s occasional outburst or the feeling of being slighted.<\/p>\n

Those situations can be helped by having some good coworkers that are on your side and will support you. Having 2-3 people you really like and get along with will in many cases override the annoyances of a bad coworker.<\/p>\n

There are pros and cons to any job; one bad apple on a team may not be enough of a problem to really get under your skin in a way that affects your work. On the other hand, one bad apple on a small team or who sits right next to you can make life hell. So next we\u2019ll look at some strategies for handling that conflict.<\/p>\n

Kill \u2018Em With Kindness<\/h3>\n

Researcher Nathanael Fast<\/a> argues that most workplace conflict arises because people\u2019s egos are threatened. Our work is directly connected to our livelihood; if it\u2019s threatened, we\u2019re likely to lash out, even if it\u2019s in subconscious ways. That acting out can take the form of bullying, underhanded comments, passive aggressiveness, and any number of other behaviors that you find distasteful. So what\u2019s one to do?<\/p>\n

Fast suggests offering gratitude. If someone has been short with you, or said something that might have offended you, try being extra pleasant while chit-chatting rather than offering a cold shoulder. Or perhaps you can offer to buy them a cup of coffee the next day, or ask if they\u2019d like to join you for lunch. Your kindness may very well help them realize and be a little ashamed of their own poor behavior, and the situation may not have to escalate to a point of even needing to confront it.<\/p>\n

Another way this works is to find at least one thing about that coworker you do like and focus on that rather than the traits that annoy you. Maybe they\u2019re into dogs and you can brag about your pooch to them, or they enjoy craft beer like you do so you can talk about your favorite local watering hole. Find ways to center your conversation on these topics, and perhaps what you disliked about that person will be lessened.<\/p>\n

Also be sure to avoid gossiping about the bad coworker. There\u2019s an episode of How I Met Your Mother<\/em> in which one of the characters, Marshall, is trying really hard to fit in at his new job in a law office. His coworkers are characterized (and dressed up to make the point) as gorillas — ogreish men who make vulgar jokes and demean those around them. At first, Marshall plays along in order to be part of the group, but eventually he turns into a gorilla himself. Only after pulling away from those conversations does he turn back into his kind and hardworking self. It\u2019s a great look at how simply participating in gossip and mean-spirited conversations changes who we are and how we treat people. If you avoid demeaning conversations, it\u2019s possible your annoyance at a certain coworker will fade away.<\/p>\n

If after a couple weeks this hasn\u2019t worked (or if the situation is more serious than a somewhat minor annoyance), however, you can try some avoidance techniques.<\/p>\n

Try Avoidance Tactics<\/h3>\n

Finding ways to simply avoid the bothersome coworker is a helpful solution that can possibly nip the problem in the bud without requiring an awkward one-on-one confrontation. While these techniques don\u2019t necessarily solve underlying issues or conflicts, that may not matter much if the problem is out of sight and out of mind. A few strategies to consider:<\/p>\n