{"id":40110,"date":"2014-05-13T17:20:55","date_gmt":"2014-05-13T22:20:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=40110"},"modified":"2021-09-26T10:02:28","modified_gmt":"2021-09-26T15:02:28","slug":"how-to-enter-a-room-like-a-boss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/relationships\/social-skills\/how-to-enter-a-room-like-a-boss\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Enter a Room Like a Boss"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never get a second chance to make a first impression.\u201d –Will Rogers<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Charlie Dresow knew when he entered the courtroom that every eyeball would be trained on him.<\/p>\n

It was the first day of trial for his client, Max Wade. A child of a well-to-do family who was raised in affluent Marin County outside San Francisco, Wade was accused of a crime spree of epic proportions, including a daring heist of celebrity chef Guy Fieri\u2019s yellow Lamborghini, as well as stealing police uniforms and badges, and attempted murder.<\/p>\n

The car theft wasn\u2019t just any car theft. This was the Mission Impossible<\/em> of car thefts.<\/p>\n

The Food Network star\u2019s Lambo was in for service at British Motor Cars, a luxury car dealership in San Francisco. Shortly past midnight, a man dressed in all black rappelled down from the roof of the dealership and into a window. Security camera footage showed the man stalking around the dealership, ninja-style, until he drove off in the Italian sports car.<\/p>\n

The attempted murder was equally brazen. A man — also dressed in black — rode up on a motorcycle and opened fire on a girl and her boyfriend as they sat in a truck talking in broad daylight.<\/p>\n

And perhaps the craziest part? Wade was under 18 at the time the crimes occurred.<\/p>\n

The sensational nature of these crimes meant everything would be riding on Dresow, and that all eyes would be on him when he entered the courtroom that day.<\/p>\n

Dresow knew he couldn\u2019t look unsure of himself as he walked in. You need to \u201cjust walk in like you know what you\u2019re doing even if you don\u2019t,\u201d he says. Most importantly, he needed to project an air of authority, conviction, and certainty. \u201cYou have to have a plan and be confident in what you want to do and do it the way you want to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had to look, in other words, like a boss<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Only he had to look like the good kind of boss — more like Tom Hanks\u2019 character in Saving Private Ryan<\/em>, and less like Alec Baldwin\u2019s character in Glengarry Glen Ross<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Dresow knew, intuitively, the importance of making a strong first impression. \u201cIf you don\u2019t take how you appear seriously,\u201d he says, \u201chow can you expect anyone else to take you seriously?\u201d<\/p>\n

Why How You Enter a Room Matters<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Girl<\/p>\n

Even if you aren\u2019t a high-profile trial attorney like Charlie Dresow, you are being judged every time you enter a room.<\/p>\n

Imagine, for example, you\u2019ve just entered a room full of people you want to impress. It could be a roomful of your peers, or potential clients, or even a bar filled with attractive women.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re feeling pretty good — you\u2019re wearing a new shirt and you\u2019ve got your best cologne on<\/a> that smells like George Clooney in a bottle.<\/p>\n

And then one of your buddies pulls you aside and whispers to you that your fly is open.<\/p>\n

Ouch. You\u2019ve just experienced the brutal reality of first impressions. They can be good, and they can be really, really bad.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing: leaving your zipper open is just one obvious example of ways we all can ruin a first impression. In reality, there are many things we all do, unintentionally, when we enter a room or gathering of new people that equates to walking into a room with our fly open.<\/p>\n

In other words, we\u2019re killing our best chances at success with our own bad habits<\/a>, mistakes, or simply ignorance. The stakes here are high. First impressions set the tone for entire relationships, whether it\u2019s interviewing for a job<\/a>, meeting one\u2019s future in-laws for the first time<\/a>, introducing ourselves to someone we admire<\/a>, landing a new client, or getting a girl.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the good news — it doesn\u2019t have to be that way. There are things we can — and should — do to put our best foot forward anytime we enter a room.<\/p>\n

Art of Manliness has previously covered how to command a room like a man<\/a>. Today I\u2019m going to back up a bit and share specific steps you can take to enter<\/em> any room projecting an air of confidence, self-assurance, and authority, without coming off like Michael Scott walking into a Dunder Mifflin staff meeting.<\/p>\n

Below I share 9 specific, easy-to-implement tips culled from experts in psychology, social dynamics, and networking that will show you how to enter any room like a boss.<\/p>\n

9 Tips for Projecting Confidence and Authority When You Enter Any Room<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Below, I have included 9 easy things you can do to make your entrances convey confidence and authority. I broke them down into two steps — first, what things you should do to prepare to enter a room, and second, what you should do as you are actually making your grand entrance.<\/p>\n

How to Prepare to Enter a Room<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Being able to enter a room with confidence begins long before you ever cross the threshold of the door. Getting in the right mindset before<\/em> you get to an event will prepare you to put your best foot forward once you get there. Here\u2019s how.<\/p>\n

1. Create a Dressing Ritual<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dresow, the criminal defense attorney, suggests creating a \u201cpregame ritual\u201d to settle your mind<\/a> and make sure your clothing and appearance are up to snuff. He jokes that he learned a lot from reading about NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders\u2019 pregame clothing ritual. \u201cOn the morning of every game he would lay out his uniform on the locker room floor exactly how he intended to wear it, with the pads, jersey, armbands, et cetera, all laid out on the floor,\u201d says Dresow. \u201cOn gameday, he would put the pads on in a specific order and that was part of how he\u2019d get into his game mindset.\u201d<\/p>\n

The routine had two benefits. First, it ensured Sanders\u2019 equipment was all there and ready to go. By laying out your clothes the night before an interview or an event, you can check to see if your clothes are clean and your dog hasn\u2019t chewed up your only tie. Secondly, Sanders pregame habit gave him greater confidence going into the high-stakes world of a professional football game. The rituals of getting ready for an important meeting — shaving with a safety razor<\/a>, ironing your clothes<\/a>, shining your shoes<\/a>, tying your tie<\/a> — can similarly work wonders in settling your mind.<\/p>\n

Just don\u2019t do the high step<\/a> as you\u2019re leaving the room.<\/p>\n

2. Do Power Poses Before Entering the Room<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Theodore<\/p>\n

You probably understand already that positioning our bodies in certain ways can convey nonverbal messages of \u201cpower.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just picture Macho Man Randy Savage strutting around the ring with his chest puffed out, or a King sitting on a royal throne. (The King Charles kind of King, not the Elvis Presley kind.)<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s something you may not know: the act of positioning our bodies in powerful ways not only makes others perceive us as more powerful, it makes us feel more powerful ourselves.<\/p>\n

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy has found that standing tall directly influences our biochemistry. \u201cIn all animal species, postures that are expansive, open, and take up more space are associated with high power and dominance,\u201d she says. In a research study she conducted, when participants were asked to strike one of these \u201cpower poses,\u201d the results were amazing: after just two minutes in a high power pose, testosterone rose and cortisol (a natural hormone that the body releases in response to stress) decreased. By simply standing in a more dominant way, their bodies\u2019 physiology changed to that of a dominant person.<\/p>\n

What does this mean for you? If you can, before you enter a room take two minutes to put yourself in a power pose, with your arms and legs stretched out as far as they can go. This will spike your testosterone and drop your cortisol, making you feel calm, confident, and self-assured.<\/p>\n

Unless you want to get some seriously funny looks, you\u2019re better off taking this routine somewhere private. For example, you could duck into a bathroom stall before entering a room. Stretch your arms and legs out, like you\u2019re in the midst of a jumping jack<\/a>. You will be pleasantly surprised by the feeling of greater power this one small routine will give you.<\/p>\n

3. Reset Your Emotional State to Minimize or Mitigate Nervousness<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re nervous about entering a room or a new situation, the best thing you can do is to occupy your mind with something that provides an emotional distraction, without sidetracking your problem-solving or logical brain functionality.<\/p>\n

Jordan Harbinger<\/a>, a relationship coach and podcaster, recalls using this approach when he was on the way to meet his girlfriend\u2019s parents for the first time. He called up a good friend who \u201cstarted telling me a funny story on a completely unrelated topic so I didn\u2019t have time to get nervous on the car ride to their house. I was emotionally distracted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aside from phoning a friend with a good sense of humor, you can also \u201csing in the car, play a game that doesn\u2019t require too much thinking, or elevate your heart rate\u201d by exercising, says Harbinger. Going for a run or working out can help if you do it a few hours earlier, leaving enough time for a shower, of course. As Harbinger duly notes, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to run into a job interview all sweaty.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Know Before You Go<\/strong><\/p>\n

To make sure you are fully prepared, make sure you know all of the details about the event — start time, exact location, dress code, directions to get there, etc.<\/p>\n

In other words, don\u2019t show up unprepared, <\/em>writes How to Work a Room<\/em><\/a> author Susan RoAne. \u201cWhether the event is a trade show, cocktail party, a political fundraiser, a dinner meeting, a conference, or a reunion, be prepared<\/em>.\u201d Speed walking into an interview late and flustered because you couldn\u2019t find anywhere to park, or sauntering into a party in a t-shirt only to find everyone else in suits will squash your confidence and get the whole proceedings off to a very bad start — to the point where you may find it difficult to recover and get back in the game.<\/p>\n

Art of Manliness\u2019 own resident style expert, Antonio Centeno, did an exhaustive job of cataloguing what you should do to make sure you are aware of all the details beforehand — including parking options, dress code, etc. — in “How to Network & Socialize Effectively<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

How to Enter a Room<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Once you have prepped yourself for your big arrival, then it\u2019s time to make your actual entrance. Follow these five additional tips as you walk in the room.<\/p>\n

1. Have a Firm Sense of Purpose<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you enter a room, you should have a clear sense of purpose. Do not hesitate as you cross the threshold. Entering with a sense of purpose will \u201cnot only [make you] appear to be in the know, [but] you will have an opportunity to survey the room,\u201d writes Leanna Cruz.<\/p>\n

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Dresow, the attorney, echoes this sentiment. \u201cBe polite, but if you have a goal, don\u2019t get sidetracked,\u201d he says. In other words, walk with certainty and conviction. \u201cGo to where you want to be and don\u2019t let anything interfere with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know anyone in the room you are about to enter, and don\u2019t have a clear goal or end point, you have a couple of options:<\/p>\n