{"id":38442,"date":"2014-02-14T16:35:05","date_gmt":"2014-02-14T22:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=38442"},"modified":"2026-03-13T10:50:47","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T15:50:47","slug":"creating-a-positive-family-culture-how-to-plan-and-lead-a-weekly-family-meeting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/relationships\/fatherhood\/creating-a-positive-family-culture-how-to-plan-and-lead-a-weekly-family-meeting\/","title":{"rendered":"Creating a Positive Family Culture: How to Plan and Lead a Weekly Family Meeting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Does your family life seem chaotic?<\/p>\n

Are you worried that your children aren\u2019t learning and incorporating the values that are important to you and your wife?<\/p>\n

Do you feel like your family is just a bunch of strangers who happen to live in the same house and share the same last name?<\/p>\n

Well today we\u2019re going to share a secret that successful and happy families use to increase solidarity, reduce stress, and inculcate values.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s regular family meetings.<\/p>\n

I know. I know. I can hear the collective groans emanating across cyberspace.<\/p>\n

Just as with family mission statements<\/a>, most folks balk at the idea of having regular family meetings because they seem so forced, structured, and well — let\u2019s be honest here — super freaking cheesy.<\/p>\n

I get it. My church encourages everyone to have a weekly family night that includes a fun activity and a short lesson or devotional on some virtue or scripture, and growing up I thought the idea was pretty goofy.<\/p>\n

But now that I\u2019m a dad, I\u2019m starting to whistle a different tune. I want to create a positive family culture within my own family<\/a>. I want my kids to feel like they\u2019re part of a team that has their back no matter what. I also want to instill in them values and skills that will serve them well and help them develop into contributing members of society.<\/p>\n

But that sort of stuff doesn\u2019t just happen. If you want to foster a successful family, you have to father with intentionality<\/i>.<\/p>\n

While a family mission statement can provide the big-picture vision for your family, regular family meetings are how you take that vision and turn it into action. It\u2019s where the rubber meets the road.<\/p>\n

All families, regardless of your beliefs and background, can benefit from making regular meetings one of your family traditions<\/a>. Below we share the benefits of family meetings, as well as offer tips on how to get started with creating and carrying out your own.<\/p>\n

The Benefits of a Family Meeting<\/b><\/h3>\n

There has actually been a surprising amount of research on the benefits of regular family meetings. Below we highlight some of them:<\/p>\n

Solves problems. <\/b>Instead of having a family that walks on eggshells around an obvious problem that never gets resolved because no one wants to talk about it, weekly meetings can be used to eliminate the tension and hash out the issue. Besides working through problems that the family is facing as a group, family nights are also a great way to help individual members with whatever issues they might be dealing with.<\/p>\n

Reduces stress.<\/b> By providing an opportunity to sync calendars and get everyone in your family on the same page about what\u2019s going on in the household, weekly meetings can greatly reduce the stress that often plagues modern families. Certain themes can even become a recurring annual “tradition,” like holding a back-to-school meeting<\/a> two weeks before classes start.<\/p>\n

Builds family solidarity. <\/b>A family that meets together stays together. Dedicating time each week to teach, plan, and have fun as a family will build a firm foundation of solidarity that\u2019s able to withstand life\u2019s storms.<\/p>\n

Boosts fathers\u2019 confidence and purpose. <\/b>In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families<\/i><\/a>, <\/i>Stephen Covey referenced a study of the benefits of family meetings. The thing that surprised its author the most was how big a boon family meetings were to fathers in particular. Not only did fathers in the study report feeling closer to their families, they also felt a renewed sense of confidence and self-regard. It makes sense. Many men want to be a leader in their homes, but aren\u2019t sure how, and family meetings allow men to exercise this leadership in a concrete and tangible way.<\/p>\n

Reinforces family culture and values<\/b>. Remember: a good family culture doesn\u2019t just happen. You have to constantly work at it. Family meetings are an effective way to reinforce your family\u2019s culture and values. They offer a regular opportunity to explicitly teach the principles you want to instill in your children as well as discuss how to apply them in real-life situations.<\/p>\n

Teaches children vital life skills<\/b>. Just by taking part in regular family meetings, your kids will pick up important life skills like problem solving, planning, conflict resolution, and communication. If you let your kids take turns leading a lesson or discussion during your family night, they\u2019ll also learn valuable teaching and public speaking skills. Besides helping them develop these soft skills, you can also dedicate family nights to teaching specific life skills like how to budget, how to take care of a car, how to be civically engaged, and of course, how to throw a tomahawk<\/a>.<\/p>\n

How to Plan and Execute a Family Meeting<\/b><\/h3>\n

You can be as formal or informal as you want with your family nights. Every family is different, so use your discretion to decide what will work best. Here are some general tips and guidelines to help get you thinking about how you\u2019d like to plan and execute your family meetings.<\/p>\n

Take the lead. <\/b>I realize it\u2019s not considered kosher to say things like \u201chead of the household\u201d anymore, but in my experience, many, many women would still love for their husbands to take a leadership role in the home. Wives and mothers take charge of so many other details at home and at work, that they\u2019re grateful for you to take the reins on some things. Make planning and executing regular family meetings one of those things.
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\nShoot for once a week. <\/b>Aim to have a family meeting once a week. Pick a time that doesn\u2019t conflict with anyone\u2019s schedule. For some families that might be Sunday night; for others it might be Saturday afternoon. We do ours on Tuesday night, and I\u2019m sure it will change as the kids get older and our commitments change.<\/p>\n

Make it a priority.<\/b> Even though you should take your schedule and kid\u2019s activities into consideration when choosing a regular time to hold your family meetings, once you have done so, make following through and having your kids attend as non-negotiable as possible. Schedule other activities around it whenever you can and don\u2019t toss it out the window just because you\u2019ve had a long day or are tired. Commit to consistency.<\/p>\n

Establish a general agenda.<\/b> Having a rough outline of what you\u2019ll do at each meeting will make planning easier. And knowing what to expect makes the meeting more bearable for your family. Below we provide a template. There are no set rules here \u2013 you can follow this to a T, adapt certain elements, or do something completely different.<\/p>\n