![\"Vintage](\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/\/2012\/11\/The-author-with-first-car-c.-19901.jpg\" "\\"The")
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Every man dreams of driving a Lamborghini<\/strong>, Lotus, or Land Rover. Sometimes we think a new ride will make us more of a man. If the urge for a different set of wheels is a constant in your life, a change of perspective might be all that\u2019s needed to see your car in a new light.<\/p>\n Last month, my wife and I traded in what we\u2019d been driving. It was a sporty, red, 2009 Pontiac Vibe, basically a rebadged Toyota Matrix. We loved that car, and it fit our needs for several years. But the time for change had come. In its place, we bought a Toyota Sienna. Yep, you heard right\u2014<\/p>\n minivan.<\/em><\/p>\n The swap was prompted by the fast-approaching birth of our third child. Our blessed addition is due this spring, and three kids equals a need for a kid-hauling vehicle.<\/p>\n I moped around for a week, thanking my lucky stars for the practical new wheels, yet feeling strangely middle-aged and dandruffy. A minivan was something I swore I\u2019d never drive.<\/p>\n I imagined my face morphed onto Clark Griswold\u2019s in National Lampoon\u2019s Vacation.<\/em> He was driving a wood-paneled station wagon back in 1983. But when Christy Brinkley pulled next to him in her Ferrari, you could see the insinuation: the men who drive what you<\/em> drive only go to Walley World.<\/p>\n Then I got to thinking. From a certain perspective<\/strong>, a minivan is respectable. In fact, not only respectable, but cool. At my age, I\u2019m no longer fast nor furious. I run in business-oriented author-circles, and I\u2019m not trying to be elite street-racer\/ ex-convict Dominic Toretto. Frankly, I don\u2019t have his abs.<\/p>\n So what\u2019s respectable about the minivan? It correctly fits the stage of life I\u2019m in right now. A confident man knows who he is, and isn\u2019t trying to be anyone other than his authentic self.<\/p>\n That knowledge goes a long way toward a man feeling good about the vehicle he owns.<\/p>\n Consider the seven main vehicular stages <\/strong>of a man\u2019s life:<\/p>\n A first car is a young man\u2019s ticket to freedom. It might be an absolute jalopy, but at least he isn\u2019t catching a ride to the fall dance anymore with his date in the backseat and his mother behind the wheel.<\/p>\n A first car is about more than dating freedom. It\u2019s the Gentile equivalent of a bar mitzvah, a coming-of-age mark of arrival. If you drive your own car, you\u2019re no longer a boy . . . you\u2019re a young man. First cars crank up responsibility. You buy your own gasoline. You learn how to fix a flat tire<\/a>. You find a part-time job to pay for the insurance.<\/p>\n Ask any man about the first car he owned, and you\u2019ll always get a story. I bought my first car as a senior in high school. It was a 1972 Volvo 164E. I put surf racks on top, and when I headed off to college, I could get everything I owned either in<\/em> it, or on<\/em> it. It might have been a Volvo, but I rode with style.<\/p>\n This stage does not mean a man is irresponsible. It means he\u2019s begun his first real job, has discretionary income, and has no one to support but himself. If he sinks a ton of cash or time into his vehicle, no one objects.<\/p>\n A man with limited responsibilities doesn\u2019t need to haul anyone anywhere. Maybe a girlfriend on a date. Or a buddy on a road trip<\/a>. But there are no infant car seats. Only the top down and the open road.<\/p>\n I drove two different cars during this stage\u2014a two-seater Honda CRX and, later, a Jeep Wrangler. Both great cars.<\/p>\n Enter wife. Mortgage. Kids. Job changes. Debt reduction. All the adult responsibilities of a man\u2019s life. In this stage of vehicle ownership, a man doesn\u2019t necessarily drive what he wants. He drives what he needs.<\/p>\n That\u2019s highly respectable, nothing to apologize for. He recognizes other things his money needs to go toward besides a car, so he voluntarily drives what works best for his family\u2019s budget.<\/p>\n I drove several cars during this stage. A brown Honda Accord for awhile\u2014dull, but highly practical. And a near vintage Mazda pickup truck\u201417 years old. It was dented and scraped and the heater didn\u2019t work well in winter. But I bought it off a mechanic. That old truck drove without a hiccup for five years.<\/p>\n The size of a man\u2019s family will often dictate the size of a man\u2019s car. In this stage, you may or may not like your vehicle, but because of your family, you need to drive the car you do.<\/p>\n We\u2019re in this stage right now with our Sienna. Sure, there\u2019s a stigma attached to a minivan, but the kids love that thing. Already they\u2019ve each claimed their seat in the back. They have room to stretch out on trips. And they\u2019re eager for the baby\u2019s arrival\u2014anticipating who gets to sit next to the new addition.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re driving a car out of familial necessity, drive it with pride, man. You\u2019re doing the right thing.<\/p>\n Times exist when a man needs to drive a certain vehicle only because he\u2019s got a certain job. You might be an easy-riding movie star who needs to drive a Harley Davidson. If so, good for you, Peter Fonda.<\/p>\n But most men have everyday professions. I\u2019ve got a buddy who commutes 50 minutes each way to work. He drives a Prius for one reason only\u2014good gas mileage.<\/p>\n Respect.<\/p>\n A time may come in a man\u2019s life when he has enough disposable income to drive any car he wants. Within parameters of work or retirement, he can drive the car he\u2019s always longed for.<\/p>\n A car in this stage doesn\u2019t need to be flashy or even new. A friend owns a 1965 Mustang convertible. Sure, it sits in his garage most days. But the car represents pride of ownership. It\u2019s a badge of honor for a job well done on some solid real estate investments he made.<\/p>\n Another man recently purchased an all-wheel-drive Honda Pilot. He wanted a vehicle that he and his wife could safely drive to see their grandchildren\u2014six hours away over snowy roads in winter.<\/p>\n That\u2019s a vehicle of arrival too. He loves the car because it accomplishes exactly what he wants it to do.<\/p>\n One of my grandfathers died at age 91. In the months before his death, he was so frail he could barely speak. But he still had a driver\u2019s license. He hadn\u2019t used it for two years. Yet he was proud that he could still\u2014in theory\u2014legally drive.<\/p>\n My other grandfather moved into a retirement home in his late 80s. He sold his last car to a grandson, then went out the next day and bought a mountain bike.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t ride his bike more than twice. But he kept it, he said, \u201cin case I need to go somewhere in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n The principle? A man likes to have wheels. Period.<\/p>\n No matter what kind of car you drive<\/strong>, you\u2019re bound to have certain feelings about your vehicle. It\u2019s helpful to know you\u2019re driving the right car for whatever stage of life you\u2019re in. The right car fits each stage of a man\u2019s life. So drive on, men\u2014<\/p>\n and drive proud.<\/p>\n ________________________________<\/em><\/p>\n If you’ve enjoyed Marcus Brotherton’s occasional guest posts over the years, you’ll be pleased to know that he’s joining us as one of our regular writers and will be contributing an original article to the site each month. Marcus is the <\/em>New York Times bestselling author or co-author of more than 25 books, including <\/em>We Who Are Alive & Remain, with 20 of the last surviving Band of Brothers. He also blogs at Men Who Lead Well<\/a>. I have long enjoyed the insights Marcus has gotten from his numerous interviews with WWII veterans, and his view on life, and we are privileged to have him as a regular contributor here. Please welcome Marcus aboard!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Every man dreams of driving a Lamborghini, Lotus, or Land Rover. Sometimes we think a new ride will make us more of a man. If the urge for a different set of wheels is a constant in your life, a change of perspective might be all that\u2019s needed to see your car in a new […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":28965,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,6,42269],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-28963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-featured","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2012\/11\/The-author-with-first-car-c.-19901-500x280.jpg","aom":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2012\/11\/The-author-with-first-car-c.-19901-372x230.jpg","reactor-320":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2012\/11\/The-author-with-first-car-c.-19901-320x214.jpg"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28963","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28963"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28963\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":191941,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28963\/revisions\/191941"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28963"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=28963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} 1. <\/strong>First Cars<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2. C<\/strong>ars of Limited Responsibility<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3.<\/strong> Cars of Financial Necessity<\/strong><\/h3>\n
4. <\/strong>Cars of Familial Necessity<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5.<\/strong> Cars for Work<\/strong><\/h3>\n
6. <\/strong>Cars of Arrival<\/strong><\/h3>\n
7. <\/strong>Last Cars<\/strong><\/h3>\n