{"id":25879,"date":"2012-07-20T15:47:17","date_gmt":"2012-07-20T20:47:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/artofmanliness.com\/?p=25879"},"modified":"2021-06-04T12:14:08","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T17:14:08","slug":"getting-tough-with-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/getting-tough-with-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Tough With Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: This is guest post from Marcus Brotherton. It originally ran on Men Who Lead Well (www.marcusbrotherton.com<\/a>).<\/em><\/p>\n

One harmful mindset that can keep a man from fulfilling<\/strong> his calling and potential is self-coddling. This is when he convinces himself he deserves a break, and runs to something that ultimately harms himself.<\/p>\n

The WWII Marines of K\/3\/5 had been fighting on Guadalcanal for weeks. C-rations had run out, and the men ate twice daily portions of coconuts and wormy rice they\u2019d confiscated from the Japanese.<\/p>\n

\"Sid

Sid Phillips, left, with W.O. Brown<\/p><\/div>\n

PFC Sid Phillips (featured in HBO\u2019s The Pacific<\/em>) grew increasingly concerned for his hometown friend, W.O. Brown, racked with severe dysentery. Everything W.O. tried to eat ran straight through him. There was no medicine. No cots to lie on. The sick were simply stretched out on the ground. W.O. grew so emaciated he was too weak even to sit up. Flies covered him as he lay in his own diarrhea.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was bad,\u201d Phillips reported in an interview with me. \u201cI didn\u2019t think W.O. was going to survive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Sid<\/p>\n

Each day, Phillips carried W.O. to the ocean and helped him get clean. I asked Phillips if he remembered any specific conversations he had with W.O. during these times of carrying him. Here, I was expecting a poignant story. I pictured this young battle-hardened Marine carrying his nearly-dead buddy to the water. \u201cKeep holding on,\u201d Phillips would whisper. \u201cHave courage. Just think of mom and apple pie.\u201d Something like that.<\/p>\n

But Phillips just chuckled. \u201cOh yeah, I remember. I told W.O. to stop being such a faker and take a salt tablet.\u201d<\/p>\n

The response threw me. I asked Phillips (who eventually became a medical doctor) what his strategy was.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it didn\u2019t help a man to overly commiserate with him,\u201d Phillips said. \u201cIf you did, it just depressed him. But if you kidded him, it made him smile. The ribbing was all good natured. He\u2019d fire back some wisecrack at you, and soon he\u2019d get to fighting again.\u201d<\/p>\n

How does this apply to manhood today?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Phillips respected W.O. Brown as someone who had the capacity to get up and go on. So let\u2019s believe the same about ourselves.<\/p>\n

Anytime a man is in a downed place\u2014i.e. he\u2019s annoyed, angry, tired, hurt, lonely, stressed, or frustrated\u2014he is tempted to become overly sympathetic with himself. He gets that insidious, creepy, pampering mindset that tells him he deserves a break\u2014just this once.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not talking about kicking back on the couch with a bag of Doritos. Not that kind of a break.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about blowing it: the lie that it\u2019s okay to run to a favorite vice. We\u2019ve all got them. We run to whatever ultimately harms us, because we\u2019ve convinced ourselves it helps. It\u2019s the worst form of coddling.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the solution?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Get tough with yourself. Knock it off, ya faker. Take a salt tablet, and get back to the battle. Sure, frustrations exist. But you don\u2019t need that bottle. You don\u2019t need that porn. You don\u2019t need to give in to that moment of rage on the freeway. You\u2019ve only convinced yourself you do.<\/p>\n

By the way, the strategy works. W.O. Brown survived the dysentery\u2014and the war.<\/p>\n

All Photos Courtesy of Valor Studios<\/em>
\n<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

____________<\/p>\n

Editor’s note: If you want to learn more about Sid Phillips I highly recommend watching this profile that was done of him for HBO’s <\/em>The Pacific. A really great watch:<\/em><\/p>\n