{"id":184555,"date":"2024-10-28T09:35:23","date_gmt":"2024-10-28T14:35:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=184555"},"modified":"2026-09-06T17:30:01","modified_gmt":"2026-09-06T22:30:01","slug":"podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast #1,033: Ouch! That Stings! Why Rejection Hurts So Much (And How to Deal With It)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cNothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love,\u201d Charlie Brown once said. Indeed, being spurned by one&#8217;s crush, or, for that matter, by a friend or potential employer, not only ruins the taste of one&#8217;s favorite sandwich spread, but causes great psychological distress and even physical pain.<\/p>\n<p>Here to walk us through one of life&#8217;s worst feelings is Mark Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, and the editor of <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3UrDRN1\"><em>Interpersonal Rejection<\/em><\/a>. Today on the show, Mark unpacks the experience of social rejection, including why we&#8217;re so sensitive to it and the emotions and behaviors it causes, which can be positive and prosocial or maladaptive and even violent. We discuss the role that is played by the sociometer, a concept Mark originated, in monitoring our social acceptance and rejection and what influences its sensitivity to fluctuations in your relational value. And Mark offers advice on how to remove some of the sting of rejection and civilly reject others.<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"adL\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cNothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love,\u201d Charlie Brown once said. Indeed, being spurned by one&#8217;s crush, or, for that matter, by a friend or potential employer, not only ruins the taste of one&#8217;s favorite sandwich spread, but causes great psychological distress and even physical pain. Here to walk us [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":194660,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[156,42379,42293],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-184555","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","category-social","category-social-skills"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033-538x280.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033-768x432.png","aom":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033-320x180.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033-640x360.png"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.4 (Yoast SEO v28.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Podcast #1,033: Ouch! That Stings! Why Rejection Hurts So Much (And How to Deal With It) | The Art of Manliness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Podcast #1,033: Ouch! That Stings! Why Rejection Hurts So Much (And How to Deal With It) | The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cNothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love,\u201d Charlie Brown once said. Indeed, being spurned by one&#8217;s crush, or, for that matter, by a friend or potential employer, not only ruins the taste of one&#8217;s favorite sandwich spread, but causes great psychological distress and even physical pain. Here to walk us [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-10-28T14:35:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-06T22:30:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/1033.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1033-ouch-that-stings-why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-how-to-deal-with-it\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\"},\"headline\":\"Podcast #1,033: Ouch! 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