{"id":184130,"date":"2024-09-25T09:04:10","date_gmt":"2024-09-25T14:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=184130"},"modified":"2026-09-06T21:14:16","modified_gmt":"2026-09-07T02:14:16","slug":"podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast #1,025: What&#8217;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure to make desired connections, it can sometimes be hard to understand.<\/p>\n<p>So what&#8217;s going on when you socially misfire?<\/p>\n<p>Here to unpack that question is Thomas Smithyman, who is a clinical psychologist and the author of <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4ey8S9R\"><em>Dating Without Fear: Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect<\/em><\/a>. Today on the show, we get into the dynamics of social anxiety in both romantic and platonic contexts. Thomas explains what defines social anxiety, how it exists on a spectrum from mild shyness to an outright disorder, and what causes it, from genetics to faulty thinking. We talk about the protection strategies people often use to avoid the pain of social judgement, and why they actually backfire. We then get into what you can do to be more socially comfortable and confident, including a key to effective flirting, why you should try to make a &#8220;mediocre first impression,&#8221; and how to find your way into what Thomas calls the &#8220;warm social world.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":194669,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[156,42379,42293],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-184130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","category-social","category-social-skills"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025-538x280.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025-768x432.png","aom":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025-320x180.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025-640x360.png"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.4 (Yoast SEO v28.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Podcast #1,025: What&#039;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Podcast #1,025: What&#039;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\"},\"headline\":\"Podcast #1,025: What&#8217;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety?\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":221,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/09\\\/1025.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Podcast\",\"Social\",\"Social Skills\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"copyrightYear\":\"2024\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/\",\"name\":\"Podcast #1,025: What's Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/09\\\/1025.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/09\\\/1025.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/09\\\/1025.png\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/social\\\/social-skills\\\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Podcast #1,025: What&#8217;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Art of Manliness\",\"description\":\"Men&#039;s Interest and Lifestyle\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3\",\"name\":\"Brett &amp; Kate McKay\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/author\\\/admin\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Podcast #1,025: What's Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Podcast #1,025: What's Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness","og_description":"Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/","og_site_name":"The Art of Manliness","article_publisher":"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness","article_published_time":"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":720,"url":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Brett &amp; Kate McKay","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@artofmanliness","twitter_site":"@artofmanliness","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Brett &amp; Kate McKay","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/"},"author":{"name":"Brett &amp; Kate McKay","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3"},"headline":"Podcast #1,025: What&#8217;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety?","datePublished":"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00","dateModified":"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/"},"wordCount":221,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png","articleSection":["Podcast","Social","Social Skills"],"inLanguage":"en-US","copyrightYear":"2024","copyrightHolder":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/#organization"}},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/","url":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/","name":"Podcast #1,025: What's Going on With Your Social Anxiety? | The Art of Manliness","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png","datePublished":"2024-09-25T14:04:10+00:00","dateModified":"2026-09-07T02:14:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/1025.png","width":1280,"height":720},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/social\/social-skills\/podcast-1025-whats-going-on-with-your-social-anxiety\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Podcast #1,025: What&#8217;s Going on With Your Social Anxiety?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/","name":"The Art of Manliness","description":"Men&#039;s Interest and Lifestyle","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e4ed6cc1b40b6de48739267a953ef2b3","name":"Brett &amp; Kate McKay","url":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/author\/admin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=184130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/184130\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/194669"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=184130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=184130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=184130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}