{"id":144434,"date":"2022-01-18T11:35:06","date_gmt":"2022-01-18T17:35:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=144434"},"modified":"2025-12-23T12:57:35","modified_gmt":"2025-12-23T18:57:35","slug":"the-right-and-wrong-way-to-journal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/featured\/the-right-and-wrong-way-to-journal\/","title":{"rendered":"The Right and Wrong Way to Journal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-144435\" src=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"725\" height=\"482\" srcset=\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal.jpg 725w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-320x213.jpg 320w, https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-640x425.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 725px) 100vw, 725px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I used to be a regular journaler, but no longer am.<\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t getting much out of journaling, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/why-i-stopped-journaling\/\">so I dropped it as a regular habit<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>While I don\u2019t journal every day anymore, I haven\u2019t completely given up on the practice.<\/p>\n<p>I still get an intermittent itch to crack open my journal and put pen to paper. I usually get the urge when I\u2019m facing some sort of challenge or dilemna that I need to work through.<\/p>\n<p>And thanks to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/podcast\/podcast-644-how-to-develop-greater-self-awareness\/\">my conversation with Tasha Eurich<\/a> \u2014 an organizational psychologist who has spent her career researching how self-awareness can help individuals in both their professional and personal lives \u2014 when I do journal, the way I journal has changed dramatically.<\/p>\n<p>Now when I journal, I get a lot more out of it.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve felt like your journaling hasn\u2019t been doing much for you, below I highlight some suggestions from the world of cognitive science that might help.<\/p>\n<h2>The Journaling Trap<\/h2>\n<p>Given that we all journal for different reasons, it can\u2019t always be said that there\u2019s a right and wrong way to do it. If, for example, you journal by writing just one or two lines about what happened each day, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/featured\/jumpstart-your-journaling-a-31-day-challenge\/\">or use set prompts to explore different subjects<\/a>, that\u2019s great. If you enjoy it, keep it up.<\/p>\n<p>However, if you\u2019re like many people in that you journal to work through life\u2019s big existential issues \u2014 questions related to work, family, love, meaning, tragedy, and so on \u2014 then there is indeed a better and worse way to go about it.<\/p>\n<p>While we typically think of journaling as a way to gain more insight into our interior landscapes, one of the most surprising findings in Eurich\u2019s research is that regular journalers (generally) have no more self-awareness than individuals who don\u2019t journal.<\/p>\n<p>What gives?<\/p>\n<p>Eurich argues that the way most people journal isn\u2019t conducive to gaining insight and self-awareness and instead leads to blinkered self-absorption.<\/p>\n<p>When most people journal, they sort of vomit their thoughts out. Their journal is like a metaphorical toilet bowl in which they discharge all their mental and emotional waste.<\/p>\n<p>But Eurich and other psychologists posit that thinking of your journal as a psychological crapper will lead to having crappy, unproductive thoughts. It might feel good to cathartically release your pent-up angst and anxiety on paper, but there\u2019s a danger that you\u2019re just stirring up more stress instead of resolving the issue that\u2019s causing it.<\/p>\n<p>When I journaled regularly, this was the trap I found myself in. I would vomit out my thoughts on paper in a William Faulkner-esque, stream-of-consciousness torrent. All my entries were just emotive ruminations. Sure, it felt good to release those feelings, but nothing ever got better. I finally realized that journaling like this on the daily wasn\u2019t doing anything for me, so I stopped.<\/p>\n<h2>How to Journal to Get the Most Out of It<\/h2>\n<p>If you&#8217;re journaling to sort out your thoughts and feelings and work through life\u2019s big questions and issues, then consider trying these research-based suggestions for getting more out of the practice:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask <em>what<\/em> instead of <em>why<\/em>.<\/strong> This is the shift that had the most ROI for my journaling.<\/p>\n<p>Many people ask a lot of \u201cwhy\u201d questions when they journal.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy is this bad thing happening to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy don\u2019t people like me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy can\u2019t I lose weight?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy would she do that to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As we\u2019ve discussed before, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/dont-ask-why\/\">asking \u201cwhy\u201d questions isn\u2019t constructive for mining personal insights<\/a>. It puts you in victim mode and doesn\u2019t often lead to prompts towards action. Instead, asking \u201cWhy?\u201d gets you stuck in a labyrinth of self-absorbed rumination.<\/p>\n<p>Rather than using your scribblings to figure out <em>why<\/em> something happened, use them to explore <em>what<\/em> is happening and what you can do to resolve the issue.<\/p>\n<p>If I\u2019m feeling all angsty and I\u2019m not sure of the source of these feelings, I\u2019ll bust out my journal, ask myself a series of \u201cwhat\u201d questions, and jot down the answers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s going on in my life that could cause me to feel angsty?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve gotten behind on work lately, and I haven\u2019t been able to exercise as much as I usually do. Other than that, things are pretty good.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat can you do to resolve these issues?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>There\u2019s not much I can do about the work right now. It\u2019s just a season I\u2019m going through. It will be tough, but things will settle down in the next week. I\u2019ll try to get in at least a 30-minute walk outside every day this week. That\u2019s helped me feel better in the past.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Instead of allowing \u201cwhy\u201d questions to lead you around in ruminative circles, journaling on \u201cwhat\u201d questions will help you get answers that are more rational, specific, and actionable.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bring facts into your emotions.<\/strong> When you journal, you should definitely explore your emotions, but make sure to combine your feelings with facts.<\/p>\n<p>Part of doing that is, again, asking \u201cwhat\u201d questions to connect your inward emotions with the outside world. You might feel down, but what\u2019s going on in your life that\u2019s creating your feelings? Are you stressed? Are you not getting enough sleep? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/featured\/male-status-brain\/\">Did you experience a status defeat at home or at work<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>Interrogate your feelings too by looking for evidence that challenges the conclusions you\u2019re drawing from them. Try to look at the situation through the eyes of a more neutral third-party observer. So you feel angry at your girlfriend because you think she intentionally slighted you; what evidence is there that you shouldn&#8217;t be offended, that she didn\u2019t mean to hurt you, that you\u2019re taking things the wrong way?<\/p>\n<p>An ideal journaling session is like an ideal trip to a therapist. A good therapist won\u2019t just let you wallow in emotional self-absorption. They\u2019ll listen to you describe your emotions and then ask questions that hopefully give you a more detached and holistic view of what\u2019s going on. Good journaling and good therapy combine subjective and objective perspectives.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Journal when you feel like it would be helpful.<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3GGrJyM\">James Pennebaker<\/a> is a psychologist who has spent his career researching the power of writing in helping people sort through problems. His research has found that writing in your journal every day doesn\u2019t provide any benefit and, in fact, can hurt more than help. For the same reasons we\u2019ve discussed: it bends too much of your focus back onto the self. As Pennebaker puts it, in journaling daily \u201c[you] risk getting into a sort of navel-gazing or cycle of self-pity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So you don\u2019t have to write in your journal every day. Pennebaker suggests writing every few days instead. If that works for you, do it.<\/p>\n<p>Personally, the thing that I\u2019ve found works best for me is to simply journal when I think it would be helpful to journal. If I\u2019ve got a big hairy problem that\u2019s causing me a lot of emotional turmoil, I\u2019ll crack open my journal and try to untangle things by asking and answering some \u201cwhat\u201d questions. When I\u2019m done, I usually don\u2019t need to keep journaling about that topic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Keep your writing sessions short.<\/strong> Pennebaker also recommends not spending more than 20 minutes on your writing. There doesn\u2019t seem to be any emotional\/psychological benefit to continuing beyond that stretch. (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/character\/advice\/microjournaling\/\">You can even experiment with &#8220;microjournaling.&#8221;<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p>Looking back at my journal, I only made two entries in it in 2021. They were short and weren\u2019t the usual angst-filled wallowings of my journaling in years past. Instead, they were filled with finding facts and generating next steps.<\/p>\n<p>So that\u2019s how I journal these days: Rarely and with a focus on perspective and action.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>For more advice on practices that will help you gain greater self-awareness, listen to our interview with Tasha Eurich:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/art19.com\/shows\/the-art-of-manliness\/episodes\/65e31566-abff-444b-9076-374a25dbe5af\/embed\" style=\"width: 100%; height: 200px; border: 0 none;\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I used to be a regular journaler, but no longer am. I wasn\u2019t getting much out of journaling, so I dropped it as a regular habit. While I don\u2019t journal every day anymore, I haven\u2019t completely given up on the practice. I still get an intermittent itch to crack open my journal and put pen [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":144435,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,6,42269],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-144434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-featured","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-538x280.jpg","aom":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-372x230.jpg","reactor-320":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-320x213.jpg","reactor-640":"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2022\/01\/journal-640x425.jpg"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144434","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=144434"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":192129,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144434\/revisions\/192129"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/144435"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=144434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=144434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=144434"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/app-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=144434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}