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One of the downsides of being a man is that our reproductive organs, i.e., our nards, hang outside of our bodies, leaving them vulnerable to impact. When your nards take a hit, it hurts. A lot. You may even feel sick to your stomach after a particularly severe blow. <\/p>\n
No man, or part-canine\/part-man, knows the pain of getting hit in the nards quite like Wolfman<\/a> \u2014 a character from the 1987 cinematic masterpiece, Monster Squad<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n In the illustrated guide above, Wolfman shows you what to do if you suffer a similar fate and get kicked in the nards. Let’s review and unpack these recommendations: <\/p>\n Lie down and rest. <\/strong>Your first line of treatment is to simply lie down and rest. Usually the pain of getting hit in the testicles will subside in about 15 minutes. Growing up, I remember being told to lie down on your back and bring your knees to your chest, but my research in nard-directed first aid didn’t bring up that suggestion. Rest is the key.<\/p>\n Apply an ice pack. <\/strong>If your nards are still hurting after your initial 15-minute recovery period, consider applying an ice pack to reduce inflammation. You don’t want to apply the cold compress directly to the skin of your nards; make sure there’s a barrier in between. Play some Pitfall!<\/em> with your mummy pal.<\/p>\n Take an ibuprofen. <\/strong>Ask your mad-scientist-created, neck-bolted pal for some Advil to help reduce pain and inflammation. <\/p>\n If the pain doesn’t go away in an hour, go to the doctor. <\/strong>If the pain doesn’t subside within 60 minutes, seek medical attention. You may have damaged your testicles and will need surgery to repair and save them. <\/p>\n There you go. What to do if you get kicked in the nards. To avoid this fate befalling you, don’t chase kids around when you turn into a werewolf. Also, avoid hanging out with Bobby Hill<\/a>. <\/p>\n