{"id":137106,"date":"2021-06-07T11:46:35","date_gmt":"2021-06-07T16:46:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=137106"},"modified":"2026-09-13T20:34:36","modified_gmt":"2026-09-14T01:34:36","slug":"podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast #714: Why Do We Want What We Want?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Why do we want the things we want? While we&#8217;ll offer up plenty of reasons to explain our choices, my guest today says the real reason we want what we want is this: other people&nbsp; in our lives want those same things.<\/p>\n<p>His name is <a href=\"https:\/\/lukeburgis.com\/\">Luke Burgis<\/a> and he&#8217;s studied philosophy, theology, and classical literature, works as a business&nbsp;entrepreneur, investor, and educator, and is the author of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B08FZ8QTP4\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B08FZ8QTP4&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=stucosuccess&amp;linkId=FSXA3GZUT5SFDAZ4\"><em>Wanting: The Power of Mimetic&nbsp;Desire in Everyday Life<\/em><\/a>. Luke and I discuss how our desires are strongly mimetic, that is, imitative, and how there are two groups of people that act as models of desire for us: celebrities and public figures who are distant from us, and friends,&nbsp;family, and colleagues who are close to us. Luke explains why it&#8217;s&nbsp;actually that latter group where we experience the most rivalry and conflict, because the more similar we&nbsp;are, the more we end up competing for the same things,&nbsp;the more envy we experience, and the more we want to differentiate ourselves from the crowd, even though the areas in which to do so can be increasingly small. In fact, someone can be a model of desire, not only in influencing us to imitate&nbsp;them, but in motivating us to act in the&nbsp;opposite way. Luke shares how mimetic desire can be both a negative and destructive or a positive and productive force, and offers advice on how to harness it for the latter purpose by humbly recognizing the way other people are influencing our wants, and using that knowledge to opt out of games we don&#8217;t want to play, utilize the healthy aspects of competition without allowing it to get us off track, and intentionally choose&nbsp;worthy, even transcendent, models of desire to emulate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do we want the things we want? While we&#8217;ll offer up plenty of reasons to explain our choices, my guest today says the real reason we want what we want is this: other people&nbsp; in our lives want those same things. His name is Luke Burgis and he&#8217;s studied philosophy, theology, and classical literature, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":195108,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[502,156,42388],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character","category-podcast","category-self-improvement"],"featured_image_urls":{"large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714-538x280.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714-768x432.png","aom":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714-372x230.png","reactor-320":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714-320x180.png","reactor-640":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714-640x360.png"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.4 (Yoast SEO v28.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why Do We Want What We Want? | Art of Manliness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Podcast #714: Why Do We Want What We Want? | The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why do we want the things we want? While we&#8217;ll offer up plenty of reasons to explain our choices, my guest today says the real reason we want what we want is this: other people&nbsp; in our lives want those same things. His name is Luke Burgis and he&#8217;s studied philosophy, theology, and classical literature, [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Art of Manliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-06-07T16:46:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-14T01:34:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/714.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"AoM Team\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@artofmanliness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"AoM Team\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"AoM Team\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/28ff38880a7c6995e23ac063aaaa81d4\"},\"headline\":\"Podcast #714: Why Do We Want What We Want?\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-06-07T16:46:35+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-14T01:34:36+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":315,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/06\\\/714.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Character\",\"Podcast\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"copyrightYear\":\"2021\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/beta.artofmanliness.com\\\/character\\\/self-improvement\\\/podcast-714-why-do-we-want-what-we-want\\\/\",\"name\":\"Why Do We Want What We Want? 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