{"id":111803,"date":"2020-03-24T10:19:42","date_gmt":"2020-03-24T15:19:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=111803"},"modified":"2026-03-10T12:55:48","modified_gmt":"2026-03-10T17:55:48","slug":"how-i-finally-made-flossing-a-habit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beta.artofmanliness.com\/character\/self-improvement\/how-i-finally-made-flossing-a-habit\/","title":{"rendered":"How I Finally Made Flossing a Habit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Man<\/a><\/p>\n

Confession: For most of my life, I haven\u2019t been a consistent flosser. <\/span><\/p>\n

Brushing my teeth two times a day? No problem.<\/span><\/p>\n

But flossing? That habit never stuck for some reason. <\/span><\/p>\n

This personal failure comes into clear focus twice a year, when I visit the dentist for my regular cleaning. The dental hygienist starts using a periodontal probe to plumb the health of my gum tissue. As she pokes the tool along my gum line, she inevitably reaches a point where the probe sinks in further than it should, indicating poor tissue health. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, we got a 4mm pocket here,\u201d she says. <\/span><\/p>\n

She makes this observation as neutrally as possible. But, in my neurotic, Larry David-esque mind, she sounds absolutely disgusted by my poor periodontal health and thinks I should be positively ashamed of that 4mm pocket. <\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, I actually call those gum pockets, \u201cpockets of shame.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

When I come home from the dentist, Kate invariably asks me, \u201cGot any pockets of shame?\u201d even though she knows the answer will be yes, because she knows I don\u2019t floss regularly. Salt in the wound. <\/span><\/p>\n

After the probing and the discovery of more pockets of shame, the hygienist asks, \u201cHow\u2019s your flossing going?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I could do better,\u201d I say with a sheepish grin. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, just try to do it at least once a day. It will really help. We want your gums and teeth to be as healthy as possible.\u201d Again, the hygienist is saying this cheerfully and helpfully, but since I\u2019m feeling ashamed of my pockets of shame, my brain interprets the suggestion as a reprimand.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I drive home noshing on the cookie the dentist gives patients after a visit, I resolve, once again, to become a dedicated flosser.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs Otis Spunkmeyer as my witness, I will never have pockets of shame again!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I do act to follow through on this conviction. Every night after my shameful visit to the dentist, I floss. <\/span><\/p>\n

But without fail, two weeks later, I\u2019ve fallen off the wagon. <\/span><\/p>\n

Six months later, I get a reminder that my next dental appointment is in a week. I furiously try to cram six months of flossing into one week. <\/span><\/p>\n

Must. Not. Have. Pockets. Of. Shame! <\/span><\/p>\n

But I do. <\/span><\/p>\n

And the cycle repeats itself again like some Buddhist morality story. <\/span><\/p>\n

I figured I\u2019d be stuck in this infinite cycle of flossing failure and periodontal shame forever more.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, I finally found a way to escape the flossing ouroboros and reach periodontal nirvana. <\/span><\/p>\n

For the past three months, <\/span>I have not missed a single night of flossing<\/span><\/i>. That\u2019s the longest flossing streak I\u2019ve ever had in all the years I\u2019ve sported a full set of teeth.<\/span><\/p>\n

To thank for that, I have a behavioral scientist and AC\/DC. <\/span><\/p>\n

Floss One Tooth + AC\/DC = Flossing Habit<\/span><\/h3>\n

A few weeks before the beginning of the new year, I read behavioral scientist BJ Fogg\u2019s book <\/span>Tiny Habits<\/a>.<\/span><\/i> (In February, I had him on the AoM podcast to talk about it<\/a>.)<\/span> In his book, Fogg lays out research-backed tactics to turn any intention into an ingrained habit.<\/span><\/p>\n

After boning up on his tips, I immediately started implementing them to finally turn flossing into a habit for myself. Since that time, I haven\u2019t missed a single night of flossing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fogg\u2019s Behavioral Design Model is a very clear, multi-faceted approach to making good habits or breaking (he prefers the word \u201cuntangling\u201d) bad ones. Every part of the model can be tweaked based on your current situation and personal goals.<\/span><\/p>\n

Two parts of Fogg\u2019s Behavioral Design Model were extremely powerful in making flossing a habit for me:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Make the habit tiny<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Celebrate after successfully completing the habit<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Floss One Tooth<\/h3>\n

    Fogg makes the intuitive observation that the bigger and more challenging your goal, the more motivation you need to achieve it. <\/span><\/p>\n

    One of the big obstacles that keeps people from forming good habits, consequently, is that they swing for the fences, thinking that the high level of motivation they feel upon initially setting the goal, will stay with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Of course, it doesn\u2019t. And when their motivation invariably flags, people say, \u201cTo hell with it!\u201d and chuck the idea altogether. <\/span><\/p>\n

    To counter this tendency, Fogg recommends making your habit as tiny and easy as possible, which largely takes the motivation factor out of the equation. <\/span><\/p>\n

    For the flossing habit, that means making it a goal to floss just one tooth a night. <\/span><\/p>\n

    That\u2019s it. One single tooth.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Now, flossing just one tooth (you\u2019re of course getting in-between two teeth, technically), isn\u2019t going to improve your overall periodontal health right away. But that\u2019s not the point. The point is to make the act of flossing a habit, which will eventually lead to improved gum health. Even if you\u2019re tired and want to crawl into bed after brushing your chompers, all you have to do to feel successful is to floss a single tooth. <\/span><\/p>\n

    So that\u2019s what I did. Every night I\u2019d floss one lone tooth after brushing my teeth. I\u2019d change which tooth I flossed each night, but it was always just one.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \u201cOkay, fine,\u201d you might be thinking, \u201cSo you\u2019ve made it a habit to floss just one tooth. But when do you up your goal and add more teeth?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    Fogg has a surprising answer here: <\/span>you don\u2019t<\/span><\/i>. <\/span><\/p>\n

    You don\u2019t ever raise the bar on your goal, which remains to floss one tooth every night. Instead, if you feel like flossing more teeth, you allow yourself to do so. And you naturally <\/span>will <\/span><\/i>feel like flossing more teeth the vast majority of the time. The hard part about doing most stuff is getting started; once you\u2019ve gotten going, you typically want to keep going.<\/span><\/p>\n

    This is how it played out in my own experience. I found myself naturally, painlessly, voluntarily, adding in more teeth as the days went on until eventually, I flossed all my teeth in a single session. But I\u2019ve never upped my goal; it\u2019s still to floss just one tooth. Thus as Fogg predicts, when I floss all my teeth each night anyway, I feel like an awesome <\/span>over<\/span><\/i>achiever. I go to bed feeling like a boss.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Very occasionally there\u2019s still a night when I\u2019m really tired and just want to crawl into bed without flossing at all. On those nights I go back to flossing just one tooth. What I never say anymore, however, is, \u201cTo hell with it!\u201d In the world of <\/span>Tiny Habits<\/span><\/i>, doing something is always better than doing nothing. <\/span><\/p>\n

    So starting small with one tooth played a big role in my flossing habit, but what <\/span>really<\/span><\/i> put the habit formation process into overdrive was celebrating each time I successfully completed my goal. <\/span><\/p>\n

    And that\u2019s where AC\/DC comes in.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Flossing Your Teeth to a Celebratory Soundtrack<\/h3>\n

    A key component in the Fogg Behavioral Design Model is that <\/span>emotions create habits. <\/span><\/i>Not repetition. Not willpower. <\/span>Emotions<\/span><\/i>. <\/span><\/p>\n

    If something feels good when you do it, you\u2019ll keep doing it. Plain and simple. <\/span><\/p>\n

    The trick, though, is that the good feeling <\/span>must come right after<\/span><\/i> you do the behavior. Sure, I\u2019ll feel good when the dental hygienist tells me I have no pockets of shame on my next dental visit, but that\u2019s too far in the future to have much of an effect on my behavior <\/span>now. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

    So how do you make yourself feel positive emotions after flossing a single tooth? <\/span><\/p>\n

    According to Fogg, you celebrate this tiny achievement. Your celebration can take any form. It just has to be 1) immediate, and 2) genuinely make you feel good. <\/span><\/p>\n

    For some people, a simple smile will work as a celebration. For others, a fist pump in the air does the trick.<\/span>
    \n<\/span>
    \n<\/span>I tried those, but they didn\u2019t really work for me. They didn\u2019t allow me to experience what Fogg calls \u201cshine\u201d — the warm glow of victory.<\/span><\/p>\n

    But then I stumbled onto a celebration that turbocharged the formation of my flossing habit: I sing\/mouth the intro guitar riff of AC\/DC\u2019s \u201cBack in Black\u201d every time I floss a tooth. In my mind, I\u2019m imagining AC\/DC putting on a personal concert to celebrate my flossing. <\/span><\/p>\n

    When I\u2019m by myself, I audibly make the noise. If Kate\u2019s in the bathroom, I go completely imaginary so she doesn\u2019t have to hear me beatboxing the riff. I\u2019m a thoughtful husband. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Three months in I\u2019m still having imaginary AC\/DC concerts in my head while I floss. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Is it silly? Well, it works, so who cares?<\/span><\/p>\n

    *intense guitar riff with mouth noise*<\/span><\/p>\n

    Conclusion<\/h3>\n

    There you have it. How I finally made flossing a habit. Start off flossing just one tooth. Immediately celebrate with AC\/DC. <\/span><\/p>\n

    This method could be tweaked and used for a whole host of habits. Drinking water. Eating veggies. Doing push-ups. Journaling. Meditation. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Pick a behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Start tiny.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Immediately celebrate.<\/span><\/p>\n

    I highly recommend checking out the interview I did with BJ. We go into his models and methodologies with more detail. It really is powerful, life-changing stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m looking forward to my next visit with the dental hygienist. When she tells me I have no pockets of shame, I\u2019ll ask her to please remove the periodontal probe from my mouth, to better break out into a little \u201cBack in Black.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n